The Amityville Horror (2005)

Ah, the remake. Along with the sequel, it's one of Hollywood's most common standards. In a lot of my reviews, I talk about how often remakes are produced. My more faithful readers are probably sick of that by now. But the truth is that it seems Hollywood seems to be doing more and more remakes as time goes by, especially in the horror genre. No less than forty horror movies have been remade between 1975 and now. More than forty remakes in right around thirty-five years might not seem like a lot (an average of one or two a year), but that number also doesn't account for remakes from other genres.

While a lot of these remakes just get a stock "remakes suck, do something original" reaction from Internet movie fans, the anti-remake backlash was taken to the extreme with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. When Michael Bay's film company Platinum Dunes announced they would be remaking Tobe Hooper's classic 1974 film, the mere thought of it drew the hatred and vitriol of fans worldwide, many of whom said they would be boycotting the movie. Imagine the Movie Poop Chute message board from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back on a massive scale, and there you go. But you know what? The movie didn't completely suck. Yeah, more passionate horror fans may have an axe to grind with it, but I liked it.

Following the financial success of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Platinum Dunes turned its attention from a famous horror movie supposedly inspired by a true story to another famous horror movie that has a legitimate basis in reality: The Amityville Horror. Originally a novel written by Jay Anson in 1977, the tale of a financially troubled family living in a haunted house on Long Island captured the imagination of the entire country. MGM adapted the book into a successful movie two years later, which went on to inspire no fewer than seven sequels (most of which didn't even involve the haunted house or take place in Amityville at all). Despite the absolute failure of its sequels, the original Amityville Horror has become something of a classic, and all the more ripe for Platinum Dunes to remake it.

Our story takes place at the tail end of 1975, where we follow George Lutz (Ryan Reynolds), his new wife Kathy (Melissa George), and her children, Billy (Jesse James), Michael (Jimmy Bannett), and Chelsea (Chloe Moretz). Preparing to move to a new neighborhood, George and Kathy discover what they believe will be their dream home in the small Long Island village of Amityville. But it's only after the Lutzes purchase the house that they discover the horrible past of 412 Ocean Avenue. The house's previous residents, the DeFeo family, had all been killed in their sleep by the rifle-wielding oldest son. He confessed to the murders soon thereafter, claiming that he heard voices within the house telling him to do it.

Of course, the Lutzes buy the house with the belief that "houses don't kill people," but it doesn't take long for them to start experiencing bizarre phenomena of their own. Ooze drips from the ceiling in one room, windows start opening for no reason in the middle of the night, ghostly voices echo in the basement, and the Lutzes start seeing ghastly apparitions that include Chelsea's new "imaginary" friend, the very restless spirit of Jodie DeFeo (Isabel Connor). And I'd be lying if I said Jodie was a friendly ghost. She nearly convinces Chelsea to jump off the roof of the house, and turns the children's babysitter (Rachel Nichols) into a babbling ball of nerves after she gets supernaturally locked in the closet Jodie's body was found in.

But despite Jodie's malicious actions concerning Chelsea, it soon becomes obvious that George is getting the lion's share of the haunting. He devolves from a genial, loving husband and stepfather to a harsh and abrasive jerk while sliding down the slippery slope of insanity. He threatens the kids, yells at Kathy, "accidentally" chops the family dog into itty-bitty bite-sized pieces, and soon moves down into the basement, where the preternatural voices grow louder and louder.

Fearing the worst, Kathy turns to local priest Father Callaway (Philip Baker Hall) and asks him to exorcise the house. That sort of thing doesn't sit too well with the house, as the force residing there assaults Father Callaway with a swarm of flies just as he starts throwing the holy water. Father Callaway flees, warning Kathy to get her family out of the house before it's too late.

While taking a few liberties with the original story (such as changing the house number from 112 to 412, and the fact that the real killer didn't have a sister named Jodie), the remake of The Amityville Horror isn't all that bad at all. And although I didn't think it was on quite the same level as other haunted house movies like The Others or even The Grudge, it definitely has its own charm and genuinely spooky moments. The acting is engaging, the direction is tight, and I really don't have all that many complaints.

Being that this is a remake, it'll naturally draw some comparison between it and the original. And while most people will argue against the rash of horror remakes that have popped up over the course of the last decade, the remake of The Amityville Horror is proof that remakes can actually be better than the source material. The remake is a sleeker, more refined movie, but it's a more focused movie too, which works in its benefit. Its tighter focus keeps it grounded, making it an improvement over the original. Yeah, I said it, remake haters. What do you think about that?

Anyone who knows the Amityville story knows the Lutzes all lived to escape the house, but director Andrew Douglas does a wonderful job setting up tension and a spooky atmosphere. Despite knowing the Lutz family survives, you're really not sure if any of them will make it out alive. The acting is sound, with Ryan Reynolds holding it all together. I'll admit, I was skeptical at first when I heard Reynolds had been cast in the lead role. Before he showed up in Blade: Trinity and The Amityville Horror, he was starring in light-hearted comedies like Van Wilder and the sitcom Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place, so I wouldn't have expected him to show up in a serious horror movie. Reynolds has a natural charisma that makes you want to like him no matter who he plays, and the character of George Lutz is no exception. He goes absolutely crazy by the end of the movie, but he's so good at it that you almost want to cheer on his insanity. I can't speak for anyone else, but the bit near the end where he pushes open the basement door and cocks his shotgun was so simple yet effective that it totally made me want to see him cast as a villain in the future.

Melissa George is entertaining as well, but like the rest of the cast, doesn't really stand out. And Chloe Moretz, as the typical precocious, creepy child that acts above everyone else that you see in a lot of horror movies lately, grated on my nerves so much I could barely stand it. I absolutely hate that kind of character, but Moretz is so darn cute that you almost can't hate her at all.

The script by Scott Kosar is okay for what it was, but did we really need all that background information on the house's history at the end of the movie? Screw looking for background info on the house! It's haunted, so leave! Douglas's direction is better, though. Douglas has obviously been influenced by the recent trend of remaking Asian horror movies. It's dark and foreboding, looking just as frightening as the events that take place. The directing is slick, yet some of the quick editing doesn't help anything. That's a minor complaint, though.

Sadly, for all the positive things I've said about it, the movie is largely forgettable. There's only one truly memorable scene, featuring Rachel Nichols as the world's worst babysitter. She's dressed like a whore, she smokes weed in the bathroom, and she gets a laugh out of telling the Lutz children about how the DeFeo family murders. And then she goes and insults Jodie, a mistake that gets her locked in a closet with the angry ghost of the young girl (who looks like a reject from a Japanese horror movie, thanks to her pale skin and long, nasty black hair). That particular scene, along with Ryan Reynolds's transformation from family man to shotgun-toting psychopath, was really terrifying.

But unfortunately, that's about it. As a standalone film without any of the baggage of being a remake, the movie makes for enjoyable viewing on Halloween night. I don't think The Amityville Horror will ever win any awards, but it's a fun movie that offers up some good scares. That's why I'm giving it three stars for being a perfectly acceptable horror film.

Final Rating: ***