The Academy Awards were this past Sunday, and just like it is every other year, it was four boring hours of Hollywood slapping itself on the back for creating a bunch of artsy-fartsy movies that are made solely to win Oscars in the first place. But my motto when it comes to watching movies is "screw art, let's party." I'm not rushing out to see King George VI overcome his stutter or a bunch of ballerinas trying out for Swan Lake, and I'm certainly not interested in a movie about how Facebook was created. I'm not saying I'll never see those movies, but I'd much rather go see movies that are a ton of fun instead.
And that's just what Drive Angry is. It hasn't gotten many good reviews and it hasn't been doing too hot at the box office, but the movie is all kinds of entertaining. It's a ludicrous movie, with nonsensical writing, over-the-top acting, and a feeling that it doesn't aspire to be anything more than it already is. But that's what's so awesome about it. It's basically a grindhouse movie with an A-list star and a $45,000,000 budget. But let's dig in and see what makes Drive Angry just so damn cool.
Meet John Milton (Nicolas Cage), a long-dead criminal who has quite literally broken out of Hell. His mission: to kill Jonah King (Billy Burke), a cult leader who murdered Milton's daughter and kidnapped his infant granddaughter. Jonah and his cult plan to sacrifice the baby in a satanic ritual that they believe will unleash Hell on Earth.
Milton quickly finds support in Piper (Amber Heard), a young waitress who teams up with him after he kicks the crap out of her abusive boyfriend. But hot on their tail is "The Accountant" (William Fichtner), an operative of Satan's that is entrusted with making sure all of Hell's escapees are returned. And though he doesn't have a problem with Milton trying to kill Jonah, it's just bad for business if people escape from Hell.
Drive Angry is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, one of the most badass movies I have ever seen theatrically. I don't care what the reviews or the box office grosses say; Drive Angry is awesome. There honestly aren't enough good things I can say about it. It's a movie that puts fun and amusement at the forefront, all logic be damned. There's no story to tell here. There's no greater purpose or higher meaning to Drive Angry. It simply is what it is, and I love it for that.
The movie was directed by Patrick Lussier, his first film following his underrated remake of My Bloody Valentine. This marks his second 3D movie, and even if Drive Angry were in 2D, it'd still be cool. The movie looks fantastic, with slick cinematography and awesome effects. Lussier never lets the movie slow down either, making sure there's always a car chase or a gunfight or a brawl happening before the audience can lose interest. Two moments in particular stand out: the scene where The Accountant plows through a police roadblock in a hydrogen truck and the bit where Milton opens fire on a dozen of Jonah's cult members while having sex with some floozy he picked up at a bar. These two scenes are simply unbelievable, both in their concepts and their executions. I'm actually surprised, even now, that these scenes exist and by how well Lussier pulled them off.
I also thought the 3D effects turned out really well, too. Drive Angry was shot using 3D cameras, rather than the usual "make it in 2D and do a 3D conversion in post-production" routine that most movies go through. Since it's "real" 3D and not that after-the-fact stuff, the movie immediately looks a lot better than other 3D movies. Despite some filmmakers saying that 3D could be a serious tool in cinematic storytelling, Lussier sees the truth: that it's just a gimmick that only really pays off if you treat it as such. And he goes all-out with it, pulling off as many cheesy "throw whatever's available at the audience" tricks as he can. That might sound silly to some, but considering the kind of movie this is, that sort of thing is to be expected. If you're going to see Drive Angry, you must see it in 3D. It's definitely worth the extra $2.50 premium.
Moving along, let's talk a little about the script. Written by Lussier and Todd Farmer, who previously collaborated on the My Bloody Valentine remake, the script is rife with goofy moments, ludicrous dialogue and one-liners, and a plot so threadbare that you could struggle to say there's even a plot at all. But that's the great thing about it. Lussier and Farmer know that they're writing an exploitation movie, so they go at it with everything they've got. And really, the movie is a million times more fun for it.
And this brings us to the movie's cast, whom are all awesome in their own ways. Nicolas Cage is our lead actor here, and he plays the character as the most unbelievably grizzled badass imaginable. It's like they somehow managed to fuse Charles Bronson and Rambo and stuck the end result in an exploitation movie. Say what you will about Cage's acting ability, but he's perfect for Drive Angry. I couldn't imagine anyone doing a better job in the role. Every line he says, every move he makes, it's all awesome. Not a second of his screen time is wasted; all of it is dedicated to making Cage look like the roughest, toughest antihero possible. And Cage is fantastic, to say the least.
Playing Cage's sidekick is Amber Heard, who does the whole "action heroine" thing with aplomb. She gets to kick a lot of ass in the movie, and Heard jumps into it headfirst. Though not a lot is demanded from her as far as actual acting goes, Heard still has a strong onscreen presence. She plays Piper as a strong-willed young woman who has no qualms with kicking the crap out of someone if she has to. Her lively attitude is a great balance to Cage's gruffness, which is much better when you factor in that her character is not once considered as a potential love interest to Cage's.
As the target of Milton's vengeance is Billy Burke, who only work I'd seen prior to this in the Twilight movies. And if anything, his character in Drive Angry is a million miles away from his character in Twilight. I wasn't even for sure it was the same guy until I read it on the Internet. Burke plays Jonah King as sleazy as he can get, coming off as more snake than man at times. He's effectively creepy, giving Jonah a kind of "Jim Jones meets Charles Manson" kind of vibe. You know, the kind of cult leader that could kill dozens of people and convince his followers to drink cyanide-flavored Kool-Aid at the same time. Burke makes a great villain, one that the movie needed.
But really, if all truth be told, the entire movie belongs to William Fichtner. The guy is so awesome that he steals scenes he's not even in. Fichtner's Accountant is the epitome of cool and composed throughout the movie. He never raises his voice or acts out of sorts, casually delivering insults and killing people as if it were his standard routine. (And since the character's from Hell, it probably is.) Fichtner's straight-laced performance in the midst of all this insanity makes for funnier moments than I've seen in some comedies. I know there will probably never be a Drive Angry 2, but if there is, I'm hoping the whole thing follows Fichtner, because he was pretty much the best part of the movie.
Drive Angry is 104 minutes of pure old-school exploitation. It has no shame at all, fully embracing its own trashy nature. And I couldn't love it more. It's a movie that won't be up everyone's alley, but those who do enjoy this style of flick will love it. I'm not kidding when I say that the movie really is one of the most entertaining rides I've been on in forever. The fact that the movie bombed is disappointing, because the movie is one that has to be seen to be believed. So I'm asking if you like silly action movies with gimmicky 3D, go check out Drive Angry before it gets pulled from theaters. I'm going to give it four stars on the scale, and a huge recommendation to check it out. I know I said it'll probably never happen, but I'm still hoping for a sequel. I'd see Drive Angry 2 a million times.
Final Rating: ****
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