One of these too-wacky-to-hate movies was Tank Girl, a movie based on a comic created by Jamie Hewlett and Alan Martin in 1988. Making her debut in the first issue of the now-defunct British comic magazine Deadline, Tank Girl was a wild anarchist whose punk rock sensibilities made her an underground success, especially with the "Riot Grrrl" movement. Though Deadline closed up shop in 1995, Tank Girl is still kicking around the world of comics. But we're here to talk about her movie, aren't we? I mean, we've already come this far, we might as well.
Things aren't doing so hot in the year 2033. An asteroid strike left much of Earth a post-apocalyptic wasteland, damaging the planet's ecosystem to the point that it has not rained for eleven years. Water is in extremely short supply, much of it being controlled by a greedy organization called Water & Power. Their monopolistic grip on the planet's water supply is opposed by a number of renegade factions, one of whom calls Rebecca Buck (Lori Petty) — the eponymous "Tank Girl" — a member. Rebecca returns home to her faction's base one evening, only to find that Water & Power's troops have killed everyone but a young girl named Sam (Stacy Linn Rawsower).
While Sam is pretty much sold into slavery, Rebecca is taken to see Kesslee (Malcolm McDowell), Water & Power's chairman. He's aware of Rebecca's reputation as a tough fighter and offers her a job working with his troops. She refuses, and since Kesslee isn't the kind of a guy who takes "no" for an answer, he sticks Rebecca in a labor camp. Rebecca escapes with the help of a meek, ill-treated fellow prisoner named Jet (Naomi Watts), and the duo end up falling in with a group of vicious human/kangaroo hybrids known as "the Rippers." The Rippers hate Water & Power as much as Rebecca and Jet do, and together, they'll team up to rescue Sam and bring down Kesslee and his organization.
Tank Girl is a unique movie, to say the least. "Unique" is really the only word I can think of to describe it. It's certainly not a good movie at all; it's pretty darn far from good. And audiences in 1995 knew it wouldn't be good, either. The movie performed poorly at the box office, failing so badly that it's what caused Deadline to go under in the first place. But it's got a frenetic, madcap energy that would have been awesome if the movie wasn't so stupid. And that's really Tank Girl's problem: it's as dumb as a box of rocks.
The movie was directed by Rachel Talalay, helming the third of her four directorial efforts and the last that would see a theatrical release. Her two prior movies — Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare and Ghost in the Machine — were tremendously cheesy movies that nobody in their right mind would ever call good. Having seen both of them, I can tell you that Talalay isn't exactly the most capable filmmaker. While the movie is very boisterous, its energy and punk rock swagger will eventually start getting on your nerves after a while.
What bugged me the most about the whole thing, though, was Talalay's use of comic book artwork during the movie. It'd be okay if it were used as an occasional transition between scenes, but the fact that it shows up over and over really gets annoying. It's especially bothersome once you realize that Talalay occasionally substitutes the artwork for scenes she either couldn't afford to do or simply forgot to shoot altogether. The movie doesn't even have an ending; once Tank Girl saves the day and reunites with the Rippers, it launches into some stupid animation that takes us to the closing credits. While I thought this could have worked, it just feels cheap and lazy.
Next up is the script, written by Tedi Serafin. This is why I called the movie dumb earlier. Serafin's script is lousy, with a nonsensical plot, goofy dialogue, and scenes that go nowhere and ad nothing to the movie. I mean, was that song-and-dance number absolutely necessary? Did we really need the scene before that where Tank Girl tries on different costumes at a brothel? (And did we really need the movie, period?)
The script's primary problem is that it gets so wrapped up in being silly that it takes forever to get anywhere. The movie's an hour and 45 minutes long, and I'd bet that at least half of it is either padding or generally useless fluff. But even in spite of its stupidity and lack of focus, it's still amusing in a weird way. There's something charming about it that I can't explain, even in spite of how awful it is.
And bringing up the rear is the cast, who had to have known just how bad Tank Girl was going to be when they signed on for it. Playing the title role of Tank Girl is Lori Petty, who you'll most likely remember as Geena Davis's sister in A League of Their Own. Petty is funny and energetic, playing Tank Girl with the irreverent nature the character needs. She practically bounces off the walls with a cocky, self-assured smirk on her face the whole time. And while I've seen reviewers and critics who were annoyed by Petty's performance, my personal opinion is that for all Tank Girl gets wrong, the hiring of its lead actress was something I felt they got right.
The rest of the cast is forgettable, though I can't say they were actively terrible. Malcolm McDowell appears as the villainous Kesslee, and any flaws are with how the character is written. Kesslee's a really crappy villain, and it hurts McDowell's performance. I got the impression that he agreed to do the movie without reading the script, and when he did read it, he decided he wouldn't bother to put forth any serious effort. At least Naomi Watts appears to be making the most of it. Tank Girl is one of her earliest American movies, and you can tell by watching it that she was destined for bigger and better movies. Watts is cute in the role, far better than what it actually calls for.
The remaining important characters are the Rippers, only four of whom get any major screen time. Playing these four Rippers are Ice-T, Jeff Kober, Reg E. Cathey, and Scott Coffey, and they aren't bad in the roles. They're not really good or anything, but considering just how bad the writing is, they're doing the best they can and I can at least respect their attempts to make it work.
I've always wondered what they were thinking when they made Tank Girl. They had to have known how it would turn out, right? I can understand why the movie's developed something of a cult following over the years, but a bad movie is still bad no matter who likes it. But it's a fun kind of bad, though. And really, I can forgive a movie for being bad as long as it's fun. And that's the simplest description of Tank Girl: so bad it's good. Say what you will about the movie, but its utter silliness is actually endearing in a weird way. But I'm going to have to give it two stars, simply because I can't justify giving it any higher or lower. And while I can't recommend it to everybody, I will say that if you're a lover of bad movies that are too amusingly kooky for their own good, give Tank Girl a shot.
Final Rating: **
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