Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

I can't say that I expected Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl to be the runaway success that it was. It was a movie based on a ride at Disneyland, for crying out loud. But the box office success, critical acclaim, and Oscar nominations proved that I really don't know anything about movies. And the fact that its back-to-back sequels — Dead Man's Chest and At World's End — grossed a combined two billion dollars worldwide further hammered that point home.

And though the franchise's story seemingly ended with At World's End, you just can't argue with buckets of cash. So Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer teamed up one more time to make the fourth entry in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Taking its title and the basic plot outline of Tim Powers's 1987 fantasy novel On Stranger Tides, this fourth movie is a real disappointment. It's quite simply nowhere near as good as it could have been.

As the movie begins, Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) has arrived in England after hearing that someone claiming to be him is assembling a crew to search for the Fountain of Youth. He's arrested after breaking his former first mate Joshamee Gibbs (Kevin McNally) out of jail and is and brought before King George II (Richard Griffiths). The king has also heard that someone named Jack Sparrow is hunting for the Fountain, and wishes to recruit him to find and claim it before the Spanish can.

But Jack's not exactly happy to discover that he won't be leading the expedition to find the Fountain. Instead, King George has chosen Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), now a one-legged privateer for the British Navy, for the job. Jack makes a daring escape and starts searching for the person claiming to be him.

It turns out that the impostor is Angelica (Penélope Cruz), Jack's former lover and daughter of the infamous pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane). Still upset over their rather acrimonious breakup, Angelica has Jack kidnapped and thrown onto her father's ship. It turns out Blackbeard himself is searching for the Fountain of Youth as well, fearing a story that that he will have a fatal encounter with a pirate with one leg. The hunt for the Fountain will take Blackbeard's crew, Barbossa's crew, and the Spaniards through dangerous jungles, sunken ships, and teams of man-eating mermaids.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is one of those sequels where it's obvious that the only reason it was made is because somebody wanted to make a quick buck. The plot is all over the place, yet is constructed in such a way that it doesn't necessitate a 137-minute movie. Most of the actors don't seem like they're really trying either, and the whole thing gives off the feeling that they were just going through the motions. It's a watchable movie, but it's a disappointing one too.

Gore Verbinski isn't around to direct the movie as he did the first three, being replaced by Chicago director Rob Marshall. Marshall's direction seems indicative of the entire movie itself: it feels like it's just going through the motions. He's just going from Point A to Point B without injecting any of the adventure or the whimsy the other Pirates movies had. You get the feeling that Marshall came into the production viewing himself as having been hired to a job with as little effort as possible. Only once — the scene where Blackbeard's crew is attacked by the commandos — does Marshall come close to replicating the fantasy world that Verbinski crafted. All he manages to do is build a feeling of disinterest in the viewer.

But he isn't helped by the script, written by series veterans Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott. You'd think that after writing the first three movies, they'd have gotten the hang of things. But oddly enough, the script for On Stranger Tides is seriously lacking compared to the others. There are so many plot holes and unimportant characters that it becomes frustrating. Why include the "Spaniards go after the Fountain" subplot if they're only going to be in three scenes and have no bearing on the movie at all? Why didn't they explain why Angelica was impersonating Jack? Why did that useless romantic subplot between the mermaid and the missionary have to eat up so much screen time?

And honestly, there's not much happening in this movie. The first three were packed with intrigue, action, characters constantly shifting their allegiances. On Stranger Tides does have some action, but outside of that, the movie's actually kinda plodding. I hate to see it, but it actually borders on boring. I didn't think too highly of At World's End, but at least things actually happened in it. But not in On Stranger Tides! If Rossio and Elliott couldn't be bothered to try, why should I be bothered to care?

Even the cast is disappointing, which is a damn shame. Ian McShane tries his hardest in the role of the villainous Blackbeard, but the character is written so poorly that McShane's performance suffers because of it. Try as he may, he sadly cannot top Bill Nighy's Davy Jones. I also wasn't that impressed by Penélope Cruz. She and Johnny Depp have a fine chemistry together, but beyond that, she plain and simply didn't do anything for me here. And for saying's sake, I suspect that the only reason she was cast in the movie at all is because they couldn't get Keira Knightley to come back.

I will say, though, I did like some of the cast. Kevin McNally is likable as Captain Jack's first mate Joshamee Gibbs (getting a meatier role than he had in the first three), and I absolutely loved Geoffrey Rush. Rush doesn't play Barbossa as hammy and over-the-top as he had previously, but he is still a tremendous amount of fun to watch. And Johnny Depp puts forth another fantastic performance as Captain Jack Sparrow, but he seems like he's on autopilot for significant portions of the movie. It says a lot about Depp's ability when he can half-ass it and still be great.

And I would be remiss if I didn't mention the movie's disappointing 3D effects. There is absolutely no reason for this movie to be in 3D, especially since it's never put to good use. Nothing pops, and the moments where things are pointed at the camera aren't very impressive. It's like the whole 3D thing was forced upon the movie to squeeze a few more bucks out of each ticket sale. You could probably see it in 2D and not feel like you're missing anything. So if you haven't seen it yet, don't feel pressured to see it in 3D.

I'm still convinced that On Stranger Tides was made for the sole reason of making Disney a bunch of money. But they got so busy backing the truck up to the bank that they forgot to make a good movie. I certainly wasn't expecting the movie to top or even equal The Curse of the Black Pearl, but I was expecting more out of it than this. It has its moments, but I can't give On Stranger Tides anything more than two and a half stars. You just know that they'll end up making a fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie, so here's hoping that they've learned their lesson.

Final Rating: **½

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

There's a rule in Hollywood: if it makes money, keep doing it. This can sometimes be interpreted as doing movies that copy the style of a successful movie, such as the glut of horror remakes we've seen over the last few years. But more often than not, that rule means sequels. And if the sequels make money, you do more sequels. Such was the case with Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Inspired by the popular Disneyland ride, it was one of four attempts by the Walt Disney Company to make movies based upon their theme park attractions, and the only one to have any substantial commercial or critical success.

Truth be told, it was a massive hit, and got five Oscar nominations to boot. So naturally, Disney wanted to follow up on it. But instead of just one sequel, Disney ordered two, to be filmed concurrently and released in consecutive summers. The first sequel, Dead Man's Chest, had a mixed reception from critics, but ended up becoming the third movie to gross over one billion dollars at the worldwide box office. The third chapter of the Pirates trilogy, titled At World's End, had some pretty big footsteps to follow in. But did it manage to live up to its two predecessors?

Following the events of Dead Man's Chest, the status quo has drastically shifted. Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander), the chairman of the East India Trading Company, has been granted an unprecedented level of power. He has declared martial law over the Caribbean, arresting and executing any man, woman, or child even remotely associated with piracy without a trial. And since he is now in possession of the dead man's chest, Beckett has turned Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) into a slave, forcing Jones and the Flying Dutchman to destroy any pirate ship they encounter.

With no other options, the nine pirate lords must come from every corner of the globe to assemble for a rare meeting of the Brethren Court. But there's one catch: one of the pirate lords, Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), was condemned to the mythical realm known as "Davy Jones's Locker" after his duel with the Kraken at the end of the previous movie. Because he failed to name a successor, the Brethren Court cannot meet without him.

And thus, Jack's closest acquaintances — Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Geoffrey Rush), the newly-resurrected Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), and voodoo priestess Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris) — must travel to the end of the earth to retrieve him. They are successful in returning Jack to the land of the living, and although there is no trust to be found amongst the pirates, they must come together if they hope to defeat Davy Jones and the East India Trading Company.

There's an ever-growing belief that a "three-quel" will probably end up being a disappointment. Just look up any third movie in a trilogy, and you'll probably hear stories of people complaining about it. But there is a little bit of truth to that belief, because Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is most assuredly the least of the trilogy. It's a convoluted, disjointed mess that runs completely off the rails at roughly the same time the opening credits have concluded. It goes on way too long and is just too hard to follow for me to actually defend it.

Once again at the helm is Gore Verbinski, whose direction is visually astounding. Unfortunately, Verbinski also allows the movie to become boring. There's way too much going on and so little of it is actually interesting. And considering that the movie is a few minutes short of three hours long, that makes the movie practically unbearable. It's just so plodding and tedious that watching At World's End feels more like a chore than anything. Here's the occasional bright spot, but they're sadly few and far between. Perhaps if Verbinski had been willing to trim about thirty minutes of fat, the movie would have worked a little better.

Then again, that wouldn't have helped the script much. Written by Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, the screenplay is bloated, clunky, and full of too many subplots that ultimately make no contributions to the movie. In watching At World's End, I got the feeling that Elliott and Rossio were trying to cram as much as they could into the movie, just in case Disney decided not to make a fourth one. But all it does is make At World's End a jumbled-up mess.

Not even the cast can truly save At World's End. Perhaps the worst offenders are Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly, who I thought were unappealing. It didn't help that I felt Bloom and Knightly's characters were being shoved down my throat, which led me to resent both the characters and the actors. I've heard that Bloom and Knightly won't be appearing in the fourth Pirates movie next summer, which I'm okay with. It's not like anyone is seeing the Pirates movies for them, anyway.

The truth is that everyone is watching them for Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. He's the best part of the first two movies, and At World's End is no exception. Depp is fabulous, with his charm and charisma making him more likable with each scene. I don't know why they even needed any characters or actors beyond Depp. At World's End may be a disappointment, but he most certainly is not.

The remainder of the cast is mixed bag. Tom Hollander and Bill Nighy are great villains, while Chow Yun-Fat does a fine job with his limited screen time. Everyone else is just kinda there, with the exception of Geoffrey Rush. Rush is awesome, playing a perfect foil for Depp. If I could make my own Pirates of the Caribbean movie, the whole thing would be nothing but Depp and Rush chewing the scenery and being awesome.

Sadly, "awesome" is not a word I would use to describe Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. "Mediocre" is more like it. It's not outright bad or anything, but it's nowhere near as good as it could have been. The movie is simply two hours and 49 minutes of wasted potential. And on my usual scale, At World's End gets two and a half stars. Hopefully, the fourth one will try improving upon this one's flaws.

Final Rating: **½

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Of all the crazy ideas people have had for movies, one of the oddest was the Walt Disney Company's idea to do movies based on Disneyland attractions. It was an idea that was met with mixed results. The Country Bears and The Haunted Mansion failed to set the world on fire, but despite those failures, Disney did have a wee bit of success in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Of course, by "wee bit of success," I mean that they had a big fat hit on their hands.

With a worldwide box office intake of 654 million dollars and five Academy Award nominations to the movie's credit, it was only a matter of time before Disney ventured out with a sequel. And a sequel is just what Disney gave us. Titled Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, the sequel was just as entertaining as its predecessor while being even more successful, joining Titanic and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King on the extremely short list of movies that made over one billion dollars worldwide. And it made all that money for good reason.

The age of piracy is coming to an end, and hastening this is the East India Trading Company. Guiding the Company into the Caribbean is domineering agent Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander), who arrests Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) mere moments before their wedding. They and the missing ex-commodore James Norrington (Jack Davenport) stand in the shadow of the hangman's noose for their parts in the escape of Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), but Beckett offers them all a pardon if Will agrees to find and retrieve Jack's mysterious compass. Though a bit apprehensive, Will accepts the proposition, leaving the love of his life in a jail cell while he hunts for the roguish pirate.

His search leads him to the island of Pelegosto, where the Black Pearl has run aground and the crew is hiding out. Y'see, Jack had been paid a visit by his former crewmate — and Will's father — "Bootstrap Bill" Turner (Stellan Skarsgård). Now an indentured servant aboard the notorious ghost ship, the Flying Dutchman, Bootstrap Bill delivered a message to Jack, stating that his debt to the sadistic half-man/half-squid Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) was being called in. See, Jones had raised the Black Pearl from the ocean's floor for Jack thirteen years prior. And now that Jack's part of the bargain was being asked for, he must serve a century aboard the Flying Dutchman or face the wrath of Jones's personal sea monster, a mythological beast known as the Kraken. And since Jack isn't exactly ready to pay his debt, he and the Black Pearl's crew headed for Pelegosto, where Jack is apparently the chief of the native tribe. But the fun doesn't last for long, because Jack, Will, and the Black Pearl's crew end up having to run for their lives from the cannibalistic natives.

Barely making it back to the ship, they head out upon the open sea. Will tells Jack that Elizabeth are bound to hang unless he returns to Port Royal with the compass, but Jack makes a bargain: he'll hand over the compass, but only if Will helps him locate a key that leads to a great reward for whoever finds what it unlocks. They begin their quest for the key by seeking assistance from Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), a voodoo priestess whose calls an isolated swamp her home. It is here we learn why Jack's compass is so special, as it points its possessor in the direction of whomever or whatever they desire most. But since the compass doesn't want to point Jack in the key's direction, Tia Dalma states that Jack either doesn't really know what he wants, or is hesitant to claim it if he does.

The key, she goes on to explain, opens the "Dead Man's Chest." Inside this chest is Davy Jones's still-beating heart, which he removed when the burden of lost love grew too heavy to bear. Whoever possesses the heart will also possess control over the seven seas. The Black Pearl soon heads back out to sea, but it isn't long before its crew encounters the Flying Dutchman. Jack, conniving weasel that he is, tries to offer up Will in his stead, but Jones doesn't quite go for the deal. He instead tells Jack that he'll give him his freedom, but to get it, he has to bring Jones one hundred souls within three days. And to get the ball rolling, Jones keeps Will aboard the Flying Dutchman, leaving Jack with ninety-nine souls to go.

Elizabeth is freed from her jail cell by her father (Jonathan Pryce) back in Port Royal, but before they can get her out of Dodge, Beckett ends up catching them. Elizabeth isn't taking any of his crap, so she threatens him at gunpoint and makes him hand over the Letter of Marque that Beckett had intended to give Jack. She plans on giving it to Will, so figuring she'd find him with Jack, she stows away on the nearest merchant vessel heading for Tortuga.

That turned out to be the right place to look, as Jack and his first mate Gibbs (Kevin McNally) are at a pub recruiting as many sailors as they can get. And who is among the recruits? None other than James Norrington, who looks like things have really gone downhill for him. Norrington blames Jack for the rather unpleasant path his life has taken, so he pulls a gun and tries shooting him. All that does is spark a wild brawl that ends with Elizabeth knocking Norrington unconscious.

Knowing of Elizabeth's determination to be with Will again, Jack reveals the compass's secret to her at the dock that evening. He hands the compass over to her, convincing her that acquiring the Dead Man's Chest will be the easiest way to reunite her with her groom-to-be. Elizabeth warily accepts the compass, pointing the Black Pearl in the direction of the chest. But as the voyage progresses, she begins to call her feelings for Will into doubt when she sees the compass pointing at Jack when she gives it a second glance.

The Black Pearl eventually arrives at a desert island named Isla Cruces, where the compass leads Jack, Elizabeth, and Norrington to the Dead Man's Chest. But in a wild coincidence, they cross paths with none other than Will. Having managed to steal the chest's key from Jones and escape from the Flying Dutchman with a little help from Bootstrap Bill, Will likewise seeks the chest with the intention of using it to free his woebegone father from eternal servitude aboard Jones's ship. Jack, Norrington, and Will end up having a three-way duel for the chest, but things get a wee bit more complicated when the Flying Dutchman arrives with the Kraken in tow, all of it coming to a head in a giant battle for possession of the Dead Man's Chest.

While it's common for mega-huge blockbusters to get sequels, it's uncommon for them to be as good as their predecessors. Sure, they might make more money, but when it comes to quality, most of them don't hold a candle to the original film. However, Dead Man's Chest is a rare exception to that stigma. It might not be an exact equal to The Curse of the Black Pearl, but it's very, very close. Though to be truthful, Dead Man's Chest is almost the complete opposite of the first movie. The first movie is a pirate adventure with just a bit of fantasy, while the sequel a full-blown fantasy film with a bit of pirate adventure. But just like its predecessor, Dead Man's Chest is brilliantly directed, brilliantly written, and brilliantly acted. It, like The Curse of the Black Pearl, may be a bit overlong (clocking in at exactly two and a half hours), but it never wears out its welcome, never ceasing to be entertaining.

Just as he did in the previous movie, Gore Verbinski does an excellent job in the director's chair. Once again teaming with cinematographer Dariusz Wolski, Verbinski crafts a film that is executed with a wonderful visual flair. His use of the visual effects crafted by Industrial Light & Magic is nothing short of astounding, as all of the CGI work looks realistic. It's none of that CGI that looks good, but you can still tell it's computer generated; it appears truly lifelike. The makeup effects on Bill Nighy and the actors playing the Flying Dutchman's crew would take forever to apply if done in full by practical effects teams, but the work done by ILM's digital animators looks so authentic, it's almost mind-boggling. Verbinski puts ILM's work to good use, as well as the grand score composed by Hans Zimmer. The music does exactly what all good movie music does: enhance the visuals while still being engaging in its own right. The music never becomes overbearing and invasive like it does in other blockbuster epics, but instead strengthens the movie by assisting in the storytelling process.

The screenplay penned by Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio is also well done, in spite of a flaw or two. My biggest complaint about the script is that it takes a while for the plot to really get going. And by the time things get moving, we're an hour into the movie and everything seems more complicated than it really is. However, Elliott and Rossio succeed in just about everything else. They wisely give the lion's share to Jack Sparrow, the franchise's most entertaining character, but they never let the other characters get stuck in Jack's shadow.

Each of the major players make some form of contribution to the story, though I got the impression that Elliott and Rossio couldn't really think of a whole lot to do with Will. He spends most of the movie brooding, complaining about things, and taking himself way too seriously, but he doesn't really accomplish a whole lot other than stealing the key to the Dead Man's Chest and repeatedly making vows to get his father off the Flying Dutchman. I know Will isn't as popular as Jack, but come on, can't somebody throw him a bone? Though perhaps he's supposed to be that way, as sort of a contrast to Jack's dashing, smooth-talking personality. That's certainly a possibility.

Last but not least is the cast. In my review of The Curse of the Black Pearl, I stated that I wasn't exactly impressed with the performances of Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom. That's changed with Dead Man's Chest, as both of there performances are quite good. I've already voiced my opinions in regards to Bloom's character, but he does the best with what he's given, and I can't fault him for that. Meanwhile, Knightley does a wonderful job, portraying Elizabeth as a strong-willed young woman who isn't hesitant to use her feminine wiles to try to influence things in her favor. And truth be told, I can't imagine anyone else in the role.

The other female member of the cast, Naomie Harris, is just as fun to watch. Although she only appears in two scenes, Harris plays the role with an infectious energy that really pulls the viewer in. Bill Nighy also does a great job, despite the CGI essentially whittling him down to just his eyes and voice. He may not have the same charm as Geoffrey Rush, but Nighy still makes for an intimidating villain that commands the screen. Kevin McNally, Stellan Skarsgård, Jack Davenport, and Tom Hollander are all fine despite their limited supporting roles, and in their extremely minor yet humorous roles, Lee Arenberg and Mackenzie Crook are hilarious as halfwit pirate wannabes Pintel and Rageti, the franchise's answer to R2-D2 and C-3PO.

But as was the case with the previous movie, Johnny Depp is the star of the show. Depp plays Jack with a humorous irreverence that makes the character loveable even when he's lying and cheating to further his own agendas and save his own neck from the chopping block. He obviously loves playing the character, as his enthusiasm shows. Every word he says, every move he makes is done with a smile. A lesser actor wouldn't have done what Depp does with the role, and I hope that he'll agree to do every Pirates of the Caribbean movie that Disney asks him to do.

Although quite a bit of it builds towards the third movie in the franchise, including one of the best cliffhangers that I personally have seen, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is not only a great sequel, but a great movie in general. It's not a perfect film — then again, how many movies are? — but it's worth seeing by fans of pirate adventures and of high-quality entertainment. The direction is excellent, the cast is great, and the special effects are amazing. And I'll repeat what I said earlier: Dead Man's Chest might not be just as good as The Curse of the Black Pearl, it's very, very close. My final judgement is four stars, and a seal of approval.

Final Rating: ****

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

Motion pictures nowadays draw inspiration from lots of sources nowadays. Novels, television shows, video games, urban legends, comic books, plays, and true events have all been translated into film, but among the oddest ideas for a film are amusement park rides and attractions. Walt Disney Pictures ventured into this idea in 2002 when they released The Country Bears, based on Disneyland's "Country Bear Jamboree" attraction.

The movie was a tremendous failure at the box office, but that didn't stop Disney from releasing two more ride-based films the following year. One of them, Eddie Murphy's The Haunted Mansion, would barely break even, while the other would go on to gross over 650 million dollars worldwide and become one of the most acclaimed films of 2003. Based on the immensely popular "Pirates of the Caribbean" attraction, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl reinvigorated the struggling genre of pirate adventures while earning five Academy Award nominations. But is it worthy of such plaudits? You bet it is.

Our tale of adventure begins aboard the HMS Dauntless as it sails from England to the Caribbean. On the ship's deck is Elizabeth Swann (Lucinda Dryzdek), a young girl whose father (Jonathan Price) has been named governor of the Jamaican harbor town of Port Royal. As she discusses her obsession with pirates with her father and the ship's commanding officer, Lieutenant Norrington (Jack Davenport), Elizabeth sees an unconscious boy named Will Turner (Dylan Smith) floating on a makeshift raft nearby. It isn't long before the crew learns where Will came from, as the Dauntless soon thereafter passes a fiery shipwreck.

As the crew searches the wreckage for survivors, Will is rescued and put in Elizabeth's care. She discovers a gold skull medallion around his neck, which Elizabeth assumes means he's a pirate. Fearing he'll be executed, she quickly yanks the medallion from Will's neck and hides it from the others. She looks out onto the ocean, and sees a ghostly ship with shredded black sails leaving the scene of the crime.

Flash forward eight years into the future, where Norrington is courting the adult Elizabeth (Keira Knightley) while anticipating a promotion to commodore by the British Royal Navy. Norrington pulls Elizabeth aside after his promotion ceremony and begins to propose, but her tight corset causes her to faint and fall into the bay. Inept buccaneer Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), newly arrived in Port Royal, sees what happens and dives in after her. He pulls her to safety, but when Governor Swann and Norrington arrive and notice the brand from the East India Trading Company on Jack's wrist, they attempt to arrest him for piracy.

Jack makes a daring escape and slips into a blacksmith shop, where he's discovered by the adult Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), now a blacksmith's apprentice with an unrequited love for Elizabeth. Will is a wee bit less than fond of pirates, so he makes an attempt to introduce Jack to the business end of a sword. The two engage in quite an exciting swordfight, with Jack only getting the upper hand by pulling a gun on his foe. But before we can discover whether Jack would have shot him, he is knocked unconscious by Will's employer and is thrown in jail.

That evening, Port Royal is attacked by the infamous ghost ship the Black Pearl, "called" to port by a mysterious pulse emitted by Elizabeth's skull medallion before Jack pulled her from the bay. The Black Pearl's pirates rampage through Port Royal and kidnap Elizabeth, who immediately invokes the right of parlay in order to conference with the Black Pearl's heartless captain, Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). Elizabeth, claiming her surname is Turner because she fears Barbossa is after her father, barters the medallion in exchange for the Black Pearl permanently leaving Port Royal. Barbossa accepts the trade, but — thanks to a loophole in their agreement — refuses to release Elizabeth.

The next day, Will fails in his attempts to convince Norrington to immediately go after Elizabeth's captors. While the Commodore plans a more strategic course of action, Will decides more drastic measures are necessary. He goes to Jack and offers to break him out of prison if the pirate will help him track down Elizabeth and the Black Pearl. Seeing this as his opportunity to reclaim his beloved ship from the mutineers that stole it from him ten years prior, Jack accepts. Will frees Jack from his cell and they quickly abscond with the HMS Interceptor, the Royal Navy's fastest ship.

The duo heads to the lawless island of Tortuga to assemble a motley crew, and with Norrington and the Royal Navy hot on their heels, they follow the Black Pearl to the mysterious Isla del Muerta. But accomplishing their goal will be no easy feat. Barbossa and his men need the blood of a long-dead shipmate to reverse an ancient Aztec curse that has left them stranded somewhere between life and death. Believing that Elizabeth and her medallion are the keys to regaining their mortality, they aren't going to let her go without a fight.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is all about excitement, adventure, and entertainment. It does not hesitate to take us straight into the thick of things, forgoing any sort of opening credits aside from the title. Not even the Disney or Bruckheimer Films logos precede the movie. The movie stays true to its amusement park roots by being a thrill ride from the very beginning. However, I did find it to be somewhat on the lengthy side. The movie clocks in at two hours and twenty-three minutes, the majority of which is comprised of fights, chases, and other types of action. Since a few of the scenes grow quite protracted, some of them could easily be trimmed, and the movie could have been easily reigned in at an even two hours. But aside from that, I really don't have any really grievous complaints.

While director Gore Verbinski's previous movie, the 2002 ghost story The Ring, was a straight-up horror film, his work here is more akin to Sam Raimi's cult classic Army of Darkness. There's loads of quirky comedy, a goofy lead character, and an army of skeletons in both. It seems to me that if Raimi had put Bruce Campbell on a pirate ship instead of in medieval times, Army of Darkness would have been quite similar to The Curse of the Black Pearl. Verbinski's direction here is quite good, and it benefits from Dariusz Wolski's spectacular cinematography and the wonderful music composed by Klaus Badelt. Badelt's music really enhances the movie's action, and the occasional instance of the Disneyland ride's anthem "Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life For Me" are quite amusing.

The screenplay, penned by Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, is quite daffy, never taking itself too seriously. Not once do we the viewer question any plot holes while watching the movie, though that may come up during post-movie reflection. Barbossa and his men are pretty much invincible, which means the Royal Navy probably won't beat them as long as they're cursed. So did the scene where Jack fought Barbossa while Barbossa's crew attacked Norrington's ship really need to run ten minutes? And how many times do we need to see Jack get caught and almost killed before he makes a daring escape? I know he's a crafty little weasel, so I don't need it repeated to me over and over. While most of the problems could have been solved by spending a little more time in the editing room, I do wonder if Elliott and Rossio knew just how long the movie would be when they finished the final draft of the script.

Let's move on to the cast. Jack Davenport and Jonathan Price are wholly unremarkable, but their characters were total non-factors, so I'll forgive that. However, the rest of the cast more than makes up for two unimportant third-tier characters. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley make a cute couple, and both of their performances are quite fun to watch. However, I got the impression that they were taking the material way too seriously. If The Curse of the Black Pearl was less comedic, then this point would have been rendered moot. But no matter, this is only a minor complaint. Geoffrey Rush is wonderfully over the top, playing the role like he's having the time of his life. He makes Barbossa an engaging villain, one that might even be likable if he wasn't such a bad guy.

But the most impressive member of the cast is Johnny Depp. Depp is absolutely brilliant, owning the whole movie. The character of Captain Jack Sparrow hearkens back to a time when memorable characters were valued more than movies that rely too heavily on computer generated graphics or way-too-pretentious social commentaries, and he plays the role with an extraordinary enthusiasm. Had he played the role straight, in the vein of legendary cinematic swashbuckler Errol Flynn, the entire movie would have been ruined. He instead plays the role with a sense of whimsical silliness that sets the tone for the entire film.

I point to a scene where Jack and Elizabeth are marooned on a desert island, and Jack puts a hidden cache of rum to good use by getting blind stinking drunk. Despite his inebriation, he behaves exactly the same as he does when he's sober. This sort of thing is very much evidence on the direction Depp has decided to go in. The movie would have been dead on arrival without his amazing performance and the wonderfully goofy character, and I found Depp to be quite deserving of his Best Actor Oscar nomination.

As I said above, the movie's roots are quite noticeable, as it keeps a rapid, exciting pace for nearly its entire running time. It only slows down long enough to fulfill needs for necessary plot advancement and exposition. With a little bit of streamlining, the movie would have been an epic for the ages. But truth be told, it's still pretty darn good. Boasting entertaining performances, thrilling action sequences, and believable, seamless CGI effects, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is worth seeing.

Final Rating: ****½