Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)

When Robert Rodriguez adapted a handful of Frank Miller's Sin City comic book stories into a movie in 2005, the movie was met with critical acclaim and box office success. Enough success, in fact, that one would have thought that a sequel would have been planned not long afterwards. But nine years have passed since then, plenty of time for Sin City to have become something of a footnote in the history of movies based on comics.

That's why I was legitimately surprised when I saw trailers and commercials proclaiming that Rodriguez and Miller were finally doing a sequel. Maybe it was Warner Bros. making 300: Rise of an Empire, released back in March seven years after Zack Snyder first adapted Miller's 300 comic, that got them into gear, I don't know. But what I can tell you is this: much that 300 sequel, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For is a sequel that came far too long to matter and was far too mediocre to justify its own existence.

We begin with the short piece "Just Another Saturday Night," which sees the burly Marv (Mickey Rourke) awaken from unconsciousness to find himself surrounded by dead bodies and a wrecked police car. Having no idea how he ended up in such a situation, Marv starts retracing his steps and finds a trail of clues that leads him to a gang of particularly rowdy, violent frat boys.

From there we move along to "The Long Bad Night," an original story crafted specifically for the movie. It introduces us to Johnny (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), a hotshot gambler on the luckiest streak of his life. He arrives in Sin City and immediately hits jackpots on every slot machine in town. Johnny's arrogance gets the best of him, though, when he hears that the powerful Senator Roark (Powers Booth) hosts a nightly private poker game with the city's elite. He waltzes in like he owns the place, buys his way into the game, and immediately cleans Roark out. But the game's stakes are far higher than Johnny could have ever imagined, as the last thing you want to do in Sin City is humiliate a member of the Roark family.

Our third story is another one from the comics, the titular "A Dame to Kill For." It focuses on Dwight McCarthy (Josh Brolin), a private investigator struggling to put his dark past behind him. But that past comes roaring back in the form of Ava Lord (Eva Green), a former lover who broke Dwight's heart years earlier. She begs him for help, to save her from her abusive marriage to wealthy tycoon Damien Lord (Marton Csokas). Though his better judgment tells him to ignore her and move on with his life, he finds that Ava has a tighter grip on him than he thought and agrees to help her. Dwight makes a move to kill Damien, but in the process, he begins to realize that perhaps Ava has been manipulating him to serve another purpose.

Concluding the movie is "Nancy's Last Dance," the second of the movie's two original stories. Four years have passed since the events of "That Yellow Bastard," and Nancy Callahan (Jessica Alba) still struggles to cope with the death of John Hartigan (Bruce Willis). Seeing Hartigan's ghostly presence everywhere she turns, Nancy plans revenge as her hatred for Senator Roark threatens to consume her. And with Marv's help, she will indeed have that revenge.

The first Sin City movie was mindblowing. It was a unique experience because there was nothing quite like it at the time. But nearly a decade after its release, some of the glitz has worn off and Sin City is more of a footnote in the history of comic book movies than anything else nowadays. A Dame to Kill For is a movie that should have been made five or six years earlier, because now people have moved on. And when you throw in the fact that A Dame to Kill For is a mediocre movie anyway, and you have a disappointing time at the theater.

Returning to direct are Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller, who seem like they just can't catch a break lately. Miller's only other attempt at filmmaking (his 2008 effort The Spirit) was a box office bomb, while Rodriguez had similar results with Machete Kills and his half of Grindhouse. (To his credit, though, he did have two modest successes in the intervening time as well.) Their direction is technically solid, still looking as cool as ever. It looks especially awesome in 3D, to the point that I really want to see what the original movie would look like if converted into three dimensions. The catch, however, is that it lacks a lot of the impact the first movie had. It's missing the passion and intensity that made the first movie such a blast to watch. And with that gone, it just feels like Rodriguez and Miller are going through the motions. Some parts are actually pretty great, I won't lie, but overall, I walked away from the movie with a "blah" feeling.

Miller's script, meanwhile, is kinda shaky. It's neither good nor bad, but simply okay at best. I did think that "Just Another Saturday Night" and "The Long Bad Night" are strong, while "A Dame to Kill For" is hampered by being a bit too long, and "Nancy's Last Dance" is just plain dull. But for the most part it's just falling in line with the direction. The gritty charm of the first movie is gone, having faded away after a decade of waiting and more than one movie trying to copy Sin City's style. Had the movie been made in 2007 or 2008 when the idea was still fresh, maybe my opinion of Miller's script would be different, I don't quite know for sure, though.

But the movie does have some great acting going for it, I'll give it that. While I miss Clive Owen in the role, I thought Josh Brolin did a really good job as Dwight. Mickey Rourke is a lot of fun and genuinely likable, while Powers Boothe is wonderfully sleazy as Senator Roarke. (All Boothe needed was an old-timey mustache to twirl and he'd have been perfect!)

The acting isn't all good, unfortunately. I'm referring specifically to Jessica Alba, who's a truly awful actress. She is just so unbelievable in the role that it feels like Rodriguez and Miller got Mattel to create a "Little Miss Badass" Barbie doll and trotted it out in front of the camera.

At least Alba is countered by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Eva Green, though. Gordon-Levitt is the absolute polar opposite of Alba, a damn good actor that's practically showing off here. He's cocky and self-assured, everything the character needed. You can't help but enjoy his swaggering performance. Green, meanwhile, is fantastic. Much like her appearance in the 300 sequel earlier this year, Green is one of the movie's true highlights. She's such a vile, conniving bitch here, and she really makes the movie better for her efforts. And what were the odds that out of two mediocre movie adaptations of Frank Miller comics, the same actress would be one of the best elements of both?

Rodriguez and Miller captured lightning in a bottle in 2005. The first Sin City movie was an amazing movie that still manages to hold up nine years later. But it's ultimately something that couldn't be duplicated. I do wonder how it would have turned out had they struck while the iron was hot and made the movie after two or three years as opposed to nearly a decade. But in 2014, that lightning can't be caught again. The time has passed, the opportunity long gone. And as sad as it is to say, A Dame to Kill For is ultimately a movie to skip.

Final Rating: **

300: Rise of an Empire (2014)

It was seven years ago that Zack Snyder brought us the movie 300, his second directorial effort. Based on Frank Miller's comic book of the same name, the movie was a big fat hit and has been hailed by some as being one of the best "guy flicks" of the new millennium. And now, seven years later, someone thought it was time to follow up on 300's success with a sequel. I don't know why it took the better part of a decade to get around to it, but then I don't work in Hollywood, so what do I know? Regardless, 300: Rise of an Empire is a shameless cash-in that is several years too late, and it's an amazingly bad movie to boot. If you were thinking of seeing it, be warned: it's a waste of time, of effort, and of your money.

With King Leonidas leading his three hundred Spartan warriors into battle at Thermopylae, the Athenian general Themistocles (Sullivan Stapleton) leads his navy in fighting the Persians at sea. And much like Leonidas, Themistocles is up against what seems like insurmountable odds. The Persian navy not only outnumbers them, but is led by the vicious Artemisia (Eva Green), who assisted Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) in his rise to the Persian throne after Themistocles killed his father at the Battle of Marathon. Finding he and his navy in an unenviable situation where brute force is out of the question and victory itself may not be an option, Themistocles tries his valiantly to form a strategy that could have an ending in his favor.

I entered 300: Rise of an Empire not expecting much. At best, I was simply hoping for a fun, inoffensive way to kill two hours on a Saturday afternoon. But I was astounded by just how lousy the movie is. It feels like it should have gone direct-to-DVD or premiered on cable instead of getting a theatrical release. The movie is substandard on practically every level, with so few positive elements that one couldn't be blamed for missing them altogether. And honestly, I can say the same thing about this whole movie. If you choose not to see it, you won't miss anything, and you'll be better off for it.

The movie was directed by Noam Murro, a filmmaker whom I've never heard of previously. And honestly, I'm unimpressed. It feels like Murro's efforts were just a dull copy of what Zack Snyder did with the original 300. His attempts at replicating Snyder's style are inadequate at best, lacking the ultra-macho, testosterone-fueled machismo of the first movie. And the action sequences, which you'd think would be the movie's biggest selling point other than it being a 300 sequel, are all lackluster, uninspired, and mostly kinda boring. There's no life, no spark to be found. I honestly just wanted the movie to hurry up and be done.

I was also disappointed in places with the 3D effects. There are some moments where it looks really cool and adds some serious pop, but it often feels unnecessary. A lot of the time, the action is moving so quickly that the 3D doesn't add anything to the movie. One gets the feeling that, like a lot of movies, the 3D was added only to jack up the ticket price at the box office and make the movie a few extra dollars.

And then there's the script, credited to Snyder and Kurt Johnstad, is pretty lame too. It's based on Frank Miller's graphic novel Xerxes, itself an unpublished follow-up to his 300 comic, and if this movie is any indication, there might be a reason Xerxes hasn't been published yet. The dialogue is banal and corny as hell, the characters are clichéd, and the plot feels like a cut-and-paste of the first movie, only set at sea. Could this have honestly been the best Snyder and Johnstad have done? Because if it is, then all I can do is throw my hands up and wonder aloud why they even bothered at all.

Even the cast is a mixed bag. The majority of the movie's actors are forgettable, and even lead actor Sullivan Stapleton is about as dull as you can get. Stapleton doesn't have anything even resembling Gerard Butler's charisma or passion, making one long for King Leonidas instead of Themistocles. It's not all bad, though, with Lena Headey once again providing a fine performance as Sparta's Queen Gorgo despite being sadly underutilized. The real highlight of the cast, though, is Eva Green, who is fantastic as she plays Artemisia as a cold, heartless, bloodthirsty bitch. Much like Butler was the highlight of the first 300, Green makes Rise of an Empire worth seeing for her crazed, anger-filled performance.

But not even Green could save this movie. It's inconsistent, often boring, badly written, and is honestly just a poor movie all around. I meant it earlier when I said that 300: Rise of an Empire was a needless sequel that only seems to have been made to cash in on the original's success. But I still have no idea why they couldn't have come up with something better in the intervening seven years. I mean, it couldn't have been that hard... could it?

Final Rating: *½

300 (2007)

Ask a million diehard comic book fans about their opinion of Frank Miller, and you'll probably get a million different answers. But there's one thing about him that I'm sure most people can agree on: whether it's good or bad, Miller's work is most certainly a stylish, gritty type of thing.

Miller's work has brought the comic industry a lot of both good and bad comics, but he definitely has his own unique method of approaching material. It can be seen in his Sin City books (as well as its cinematic adaptation) and his work on Daredevil and Batman, and was put to use when Miller entered Hollywood to direct The Spirit. It even goes beyond Miller's superhero and noir stories, as evidenced by 300.

Published by Dark Horse Comics in 1998, the five-issue miniseries written and illustrated by Miller presented us a fictional retelling of the events leading up to the Battle of Thermopylae. And although it drew some criticisms for various reasons, 300 still sold tremendously well and won three Eisner Awards.

It proved popular enough that Warner Bros. Pictures eventually picked up the film rights and released a cinematic adaptation of 300 in 2007. With Zack Snyder — fresh off making his directorial debut with his remake of George Romero's classic Dawn of the Dead — helming the project, 300 was an enormous financial success despite professional critics being divided in regards to it. And as much as I enjoy comic book movies, I can't believe I've actually gone seven years without ever having seen 300. So with the sequel on its way, I might as well go ahead and check it out, right?

The movie takes us to the year 480 BC and the Greek city-state of Sparta, a kingdom of fierce, proud warriors. As part of the continuing conflicts between Persia and Greece, a Persian messenger arrives at Sparta's gates requesting they submit and give their obedience to Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro), the god-king of Persia. Sparta's King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) not only refuses, but is so offended that he dropkicks the messenger and his entire entourage into a pit to hammer his response home.

Although they know Xerxes will surely retaliate, the upcoming religious festival of Carnea prevents the Spartan council from approving Leonidas's plan to lead their full military into battle. Despite this, Leonidas still assembles a band of three hundred soldiers, deeming them his personal bodyguards to get around the council's regulations. His plan is to force the Persians through the narrow coastal passage of Thermopylae, where Leonidas and his tiny group of warriors fully intend to stand tall in the face of an overwhelming opposition.

This wasn't the first time the Battle of Thermopylae had been depicted in film, the tale having previously been told via the 1962 epic The 300 Spartans. It was that movie that inspired Frank Miller to write the 300 comic book in the first place. And with 300, the story is taken deeply into the realm of historical fantasy. It's a testosterone-fueled, over-the-top action flick that, like most of the movies from its director, favors style over substance. And oh my, what style it is.

Though only his second movie, 300 is very much a Zack Snyder movie. Much of the style he's become known for is on display here, with the slow motion and stylized violence that have become Snyder's hallmarks put to good use here. And with 300, he seems to have drawn a little inspiration from what Robert Rodriguez did with Sin City two years prior. Both movies are based on Frank Miller's comic books, both are over-stylized efforts with unique visuals, and chroma-keyed effects, and a faithful approach to the source material.

And while 300 movies slowly at times, it always feels like it's building towards something. And that something is the movie's fight sequences. Snyder directs these moments wonderfully, each of them having a ferocity and excitement that makes the slower moments worth sitting through. The battles are the movie's highlights, the biggest reasons to see 300, more so than the "this is Sparta!" line that was an Internet meme back in 2007 because they're honestly the best parts of the movie.

And while I've never actually had the opportunity to read Miller's book, so I can't actually compare the script to the story he wrote, the writers do a decent enough job. There's truthfully not much of a story, just setups for each battle, but writers Snyder, Kurt Johnstad, and Michael B. Gordon do craft a tale that make the Spartans a team of warriors to be respected. The one serious drawback to it is the dialogue, which comes off as kinda hokey at times. But since much of it is befitting of 300's comic origins, it's forgivable.

But last but certainly not least is the cast, all of whom are actually really good. Rodrigo Santoro casts an intimidating presence as Xerxes despite not needing to do a whole lot, while Dominic West doesn't have many scenes, but he's very good in them. His character is a two-faced sleazebag that spends the whole movie undermining Leonidas's campaign, a role that West plays perfectly.

Lena Headey, meanwhile, plays Queen Gorgo splendidly. She plays the Spartan queen as something of a mirror image of Gerard Butler's Leonidas, giving Gorgo with a nobility that has a nobility that has a warrior's spirit beneath it. But 300 belongs to Gerard Butler, who grabs the movie and runs with it. Butler has appeared in over a dozen movies since 300, but he's never matched what he does here. His brings a fire and bravery to Leonidas, a passionate, larger than life performance that is honestly just as much a highlight as the battle sequences.

300 is not a great movie, nor is it even the best one of Zack Snyder's résumé. But it's certainly a fun movie. It's one of those movies that are exactly what you need if you want a movie that'll give you a shot of adrenaline. The movie is one of the manliest flicks I've ever seen, probably the closest Hollywood's gotten to replicating the awe and spectacle of Conan the Barbarian in the new millennium (and that's counting Marcus Nispel's Conan movie in 2011). Did I think 300 was all that I'd heard it was cracked up to be? No. But I did enjoy it, and sometimes, isn't that really all that matters?

Final Rating: ***

R.I.P.D. (2013)

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last fifteen years, you've surely noticed that movies based on comic books have proven to be huge for Hollywood. Well, movies based on superhero comics, anyway. Movies based on comics from other genres don't always turn out so well. Either they're good yet crash and burn at the box office or they end up being frustratingly mediocre. That's why I was intrigued to see how the new movie R.I.P.D. would turn out. Based on Peter M. Lenkov's four-issue comic book published by Dark Horse Comics in 2000, R.I.P.D.'s advertisements made it look like one of those movies that could either be really fun or really hokey. It still got my attention anyway, which is why I had to check it out.

Nick Walker (Ryan Reynolds) and Bobby Hayes (Kevin Bacon) are two of the finest detective among the Boston Police Department's ranks. But everyone's got skeletons in their closets. For Nick, his skeleton is the pile of gold he and Bobby secretly stole from a crime scene. His conscience eating away at him, Nick mentions to Bobby that he's considering turning in his share. A call about a drug bust interrupts Nick before he can tell his superiors about the gold, and in the ensuing shootout, Bobby guns down his partner before he can rat them out.

But as his spirit ascends into the afterlife and approaches the light at the end of the tunnel, Nick is yanked into the office of Mildred Proctor (Mary-Louise Parker), the director of the Rest In Peace Department. A paranormal agency that recruits cops after they die, the R.I.P.D.'s officers are tasked with catching "Deados," monstrous ghosts that have returned to Earth. Proctor offers Nick two choices: join the R.I.P.D. for one hundred years, or face his eternal judgment.

Naturally, Nick accepts and is partnered with Roy Pulsipher (Jeff Bridges), a U.S. Marshall who died in the days of the Wild West. Returning to Boston for their first case together, Nick discovers the suspect they're after is in possession of gold similar to what he and Bobby stole. Nick and Roy investigate further and learn that numerous Deados have been using these gold pieces to assemble an ancient artifact that, once activated, would reverse the tunnel that transports the dead into the afterlife and allow Deados to run wild on Earth. And we can't have that, can we?

I noted earlier that non-superhero comic book movies usually tank at the box office. R.I.P.D. was no exception, and I can't really say I'm surprised. The movie is basically what would have happened if Men in Black ripped off Ghostbusters. I know that description has been thrown around quite a bit by film critics and reviewers, but it's the truth. R.I.P.D. is not a particularly bad movie, but it's not charming or creative enough to rise above mediocrity. Most of the things I liked about R.I.P.D. were things I'd already seen and enjoyed more in other movies. It's just an ultimately forgettable movie that does nearly nothing to stand out.

The movie was directed by Robert Schwentke, who actually does a decent enough job with the movie. His efforts were strong enough to hold the movie together relatively well, but the movie's trailers alone are proof enough that Schwentke wasn't trying to reinvent the wheel. He keeps the movie rolling and it's rarely dull, but if you've seen any movie with a similar premise, you've seen what Schwentke ultimately did with this movie. His direction is serviceable while you're watching the movie and not putting a lot of thought into it, but once the credits roll and you have a little time to reflect upon the movie, you realize just how generic it felt.

But Schwentke's direction is certainly better than the script deserves. Writers Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi have pretty much stolen the plot from Men in Black wholesale. Look at it this way: a hotshot cop is drafted into service for a secretive agency that polices otherworldly entities who walk among us in disguise. He's teamed with a cranky veteran and they uncover a diabolical plot that puts the whole world in danger. Can you tell which movie I just described? Seriously, watch the first Men in Black movie, swap out aliens for ghosts, and you have R.I.P.D.! The movie plays out in almost exactly the same way, and I got the feeling that this is how The Asylum would do their mockbusters if they had access to multimillion-dollar budgets and A-list talent.

Even the cast has some ups and downs. Ryan Reynolds is a good actor when he has material that compliments his strengths, but it just feels like he's on autopilot here. The fact that the character is poorly written doesn't help matters much, but Reynolds comes across like he just wanted to collect a paycheck. Kevin Bacon, meanwhile, does the best he can in his role, playing the character like Bacon is having a ton of fun just being there. Like Reynolds, Bacon's character isn't exactly well-written, but he does make a decent enough go of it.

Mary-Louise Parker and Devin Ratray also contribute some fun performances in their minor roles, but R.I.P.D. belongs to Jeff Bridges. He makes the movie worth seeing, playing his character as a comedic version of how he approached Rooster Cogburn in True Grit. Bridges is the best part of the movie,w ith every second he's on the screen leading to something funny. R.I.P.D. might not be much, but it at least has Bridges going for it.

That, and the 3D effects aren't that bad either. The movie went through a conversion into 3D during post-production, and while some scenes still look flat (like with most converted movies), the 3D actually looks pretty decent. There's a scene where Nick and Roy chase an overweight ghost through the streets of Boston, and the 3D adds a nice bit of depth. It's not the best conversion, but it isn't the worst either.

And truth be told, that's how I could sum up R.I.P.D. in general. It's not great, but I've seen worse too. The movie has a few fleeting flashes of brilliance, and I actually enjoyed it for the most part. It's biggest problem is its lack of originality, but to its credit, it's still a better Men in Black movie than either of the Men in Black sequels. So it has that going for it, right?

Final Rating: **½

Barb Wire (1996)

Over the course of a few decades, both Marvel and DC Comics developed their own "shared universes," which allows their characters to co-exist in the same world and justify the occasional crossover. Marvel and DC's universes occurred naturally over a span of several years, but when the comic speculator market reached its peak during the mid-'90s, other publishers tried creating their own universes from scratch. Image Comics attempted this, as did Dark Horse Comics, through their short-lived "Comics' Greatest World" imprint. The CGW imprint was less than successful, lasting only a few years before being phased out and eventually forgotten altogether.

Oddly enough, one of the characters introduced during Dark Horse's CGW experiment actually got their own movie. That character was Barb Wire, a stereotypical "bad girl" created by writer Chris Warner in 1993. And just like the comic book that inspired it, the movie has practically faded into obscurity. Unfortunately, I knew of its existence, and I was dumb enough to actually watch it on HBO recently so I could write a review of it. I must be all kinds of stupid, because Barb Wire sucks hard.

In the distant, far-away year of 2017, the United States is embroiled in its second civil war. A Nazi-like faction called the "Congressional Directorate" has overthrown the government, and declared martial law in every city in the country. The only free city left is Steel Harbor, a lawless island city called home by Barb Wire (Pamela Anderson), owner and proprietor of a popular bar called "the Hammerhead." And in order to bring in a little extra cash on the side, Barb hires herself out as a mercenary and bounty hunter.

It isn't too long into the movie before Barb finds herself caught smack in the middle of some big trouble. Dr. Corrina Devonshire (Victoria Rowell), a defecting government scientist in possession of some crucial intelligence that would benefit those who oppose the Congressional Directorate, arrives at the Hammerhead asking for Barb's help in sneaking across the border into Canada. This would be no big deal, but Corrina's husband, resistance fighter Axel Hood (Temuera Morrison), is a former flame of Barb's whom she's never forgiven for their rather nasty breakup. When the contraband Axel and Corrina need to leave the country comes into Barb's possession, she's torn between her own desires and helping those who've asked for her aid.

Let's just cut to the chase: Barb Wire sucks. Anyone who tries making a serious argument that it's anything other than horrible is an idiot. The acting is awful, the direction is generic, and the writers probably weren't even trying. Actually, I could say that the entire movie isn't trying. It's like nobody wanted to even bother making a movie that wasn't terrible. Maybe they were trying to make a bad movie on purpose? I mean, there's no way they could have watched the production dailies and thought, "Yeah, there's no way this movie can fail. It's gonna be awesome." There's no way that happened.

Of all the movie's flaws, its most-cited is the fact that it rips off Casablanca. I don't just mean certain elements, I mean they took the whole plot, changed the location and the time period, and added some action sequences. That, and they gender-swapped some of the characters. Barb Wire replaces Rick, while Axel and Cora stand in for Ilsa and Victor Laszlo respectively. And what gets me is that nobody involved with Casablanca is acknowledged. The credits state that Barb Wire was written by Chuck Pfarrer and Ilene Chaiken from a story by Chaiken, which has to mean that either "Ilene Chaikin" is a group pseudonym for Casablanca's writers or they just stole the plot and didn't care about any sort of originality.

What's worse is that Pfarrer and Chaiken don't even steal Casablanca all that well. Their script is unflinchingly bad, filled with crappy dialogue and thoroughly unlikable characters. But I guess that makes sense, since a lot of independent comic books were full of the same thing at the time the movie was made. That doesn't change the fact, though, that the script is just dreadful.

David Hogan's direction doesn't help matters any, thanks to how generic and derivative it is. It looks like every other low-budget, B-grade action movie from the mid-'90s, and a second-rate one at that. He doesn't do anything memorable beyond the opening credits, and it feels like he's just going through the motions of making a movie. It actually gets kinda boring after a while.

Then again, you'll only be bored when you're not irritated by how bad the acting is. The worst offender is the star, Pamela Anderson. Barb Wire was supposed to be the project that turned her from a Baywatch babe into a full-fledged movie star. But what the makers of Barb Wire failed to realize is that Anderson is an awful actress. She's terrible beyond belief, and her attempts at being a sexy bad girl are really more skanky than sexy. And the dialogue is bad enough, but watching her try to deliver such poorly-written drivel made my brain want to shut down completely. But I guess crappy actresses like Anderson don't need talent when they have oversized fake breasts. Her chest is really the only reason she was hired to do the movie at all, so I guess the producers figured her rack would make up for how bad the movie and her acting were. But they don't.

The rest of the cast doesn't fare too better either, despite Anderson's lack of talent overshadowing everyone. Jack Noseworthy, who plays Barb's blind brother, is annoying, while Temuera Morrison and Victoria Rowell are lame if not forgettable. I also didn't think that Steve Railsback didn't make that much of an impression as the movie's primary villain. But it's not all bad, though. I did like Xander Berkley as Steel Harbor's crooked yet goodhearted police chief, and I really enjoyed Udo Kier and Clint Howard in their small and very thankless roles. But then again, I'm always happy to see Kier and Howard in any movie, even bad ones like this.

The '90s weren't a very good decade for movies based on comic books, and Barb Wire is proof enough of that. It's boring, uninteresting, pretentious at times, and poorly made, to be blunt about it. There's no reason for Barb Wire to even exist, let alone for anyone to actually watch it. So if you're looking for my rating, Barb Wire gets one and a half stars out of five. As I said in the introduction, the Barb Wire comics are about as close to obscure as you can get, and here's hoping the movie stays the same way.

Final Rating: *½

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

When you think of comic book publishers, you'll probably think of DC and Marvel first. And that's natural, since they're the biggest fish in the pond. But similar to movies and music, comic books also have their own independent publishers who release books quite different from those carrying the DC and Marvel labels. Among the most prolific of these publishers is Dark Horse Comics, whose initial comic books hit newsstands in 1986. Dark Horse has seen many characters grace the covers of their books over the years, but one of the most memorable has been Hellboy. Created by Mike Mignola, Hellboy's supernatural adventures have earned a cult following since his first appearance in 1993.

He also caught the eye of filmmaker Guillermo Del Toro, a fan of the comics who brought Hellboy into the mainstream with a live-action movie released in 2004. The movie performed modestly during its theatrical run, bringing in 99 million dollars worldwide. A sequel was announced, and after spending years in pre-production and bouncing from Sony's now-defunct Revolution Studios to Universal Pictures, Hellboy II: The Golden Army saw its release on July 11, 2008. And as someone who enjoyed the first movie, I can say that the sequel lives up to all of my expectations.

Centuries ago, there was a war between humans and mythical creatures for dominance of Earth. King Balor (Roy Dotrice), the ruler of the elves, released a platoon of 4,900 mechanical soldiers called the Golden Army in an effort to win the war. But when he saw the amount of merciless devastation caused by the unstoppable Golden Army, the regretful King Balor forged a truce with his foes. Humans would be allowed to live in the cities they had built, while the creatures would stay hidden in the shadows. To prevent the reactivation of the Golden Army, Balor broke the crown that controlled them into three pieces. One piece would stay in the human world, while the elves would retain possession of the other two.

Fast forward to present day. King Balor's jaded son, Prince Nuada (Luke Goss), has had enough of a life spent hidden away from what he considers his people's rightful kingdom. He declares war on the human world, choosing to unleash the Golden Army to accomplish his goal. Nuada violently raids an auction house to collect one piece of the fractured crown, and kills his father to acquire the second piece. When his frightened twin sister Nuala (Anna Wilson) flees with the final piece of the crown, she crosses paths with the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense, who themselves were investigating the attack on their auction house. The BPRD's agents — surly demon Hellboy (Ron Perlman); his pyrokinetic girlfriend, Liz Sherman (Selma Blair); amphibious fish-man Abe Sapien (Doug Jones); and their ectoplasmic supervisor, Johann Krauss (the voice of Seth MacFarlane) — offer Nuala their protection, but quickly find that opposing Nuada will be more than they bargained for.

I've read many a review that has hailed Guillermo Del Toro as a visionary filmmaker. The success of The Devil's Backbone and Pan's Labyrinth have placed him at the top of the fantasy genre, earning him a reputation as a filmmaker whose creativity and imagination are worthy of respect. Del Toro has brought that creativity he's known for to Hellboy II, building a movie that will appeal to anyone who enjoys movies of its ilk. Hellboy II was released just seven days before the moneymaking juggernaut that was The Dark Knight, meaning that it probably wasn't as financially successful as it could have been. But now that it's been on DVD for a while, I hope that people will be able to discover it and see just how imaginative the movie is. Hellboy II is one of those rare sequels that actually exceeds the quality of its predecessor, and is a great movie in its own right. So let's get to the meat and potatoes of this review and see just what makes Hellboy II so great.

First up to bat is Del Toro's direction. Having been given free reign to make the most of his creativity, he uses the opportunity to build a movie whose visual flair allows the viewer's imagination to run just as wild as Del Toro's. Working with cinematographer Guillermo Navarro, Del Toro creates not a series of images on a movie screen, but an entire world to get lost in. Seriously, the movie's effects wizards and production designers totally earned their paychecks. Scenes like the BPRD's visit to the Troll Market are beautifully rendered, while the digital effects are at the pinnacle of what can be done with CGI. The practical effects are no slouch either, as characters like Nuada's hulking bodyguard look fantastic.

I should also give props to the score composed by Danny Elfman. I don't know if I would list his music here amongst his most memorable, but it is most certainly effective. It really assists the visuals by helping establish the mood, and I'm not sure the movie would have the same impact without Elfman's work. The only part of the music that doesn't really work is the use of the occasional pop song, none of which really suit the movie. The only song that really does work is Barry Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You," the use of which is actually pretty funny.

Next on the list is the screenplay, penned by Del Toro and Mike Mignola. The story isn't very deep, and there really isn't any sort of underlying message or anything like that. There're also some small plot holes that are created by the denouement, though they really only bug you if you bother to linger on them long enough. I was also a wee bit disappointed that they never really delved into the potential subplot regarding Hellboy's interactions with mainstream society. But Del Toro and Mignola really do what they can to craft something entertaining. Their characters and how they interact with one another are a huge boon for the movie, and do a lot to give us something to follow besides all the pretty special effects.

Del Toro and Mignola also succeed in giving us a villain that whose intentions we are, in a weird way, able to understand. He's not a megalomaniac or someone who wants to blow up the planet or anything like that; he just feels that he has been unfairly slighted, and wants to reclaim the kingdom that he believes belongs to him and his people and punish those who he feels have stolen it from him. Yeah, he's still a villain, but you can kinda understand his motivation.

But let's move on to perhaps the movie's most entertaining component, its cast. Once again playing the titular demon, Ron Perlman is pitch perfect. I honestly cannot imagine anyone else playing Hellboy, because Perlman completely owns the role. His portrayal of Hellboy is a layered one, as his surly, mischievous behavior is a cover for a longing to be accepted by the outside world and to understand his proper place in the universe. Perlman pulls this off convincingly, and I hope he continues to play the role in any future sequels. The Hellboy movies just wouldn't be the same without him.

But despite the movie being titled Hellboy II, it features an ensemble cast, many of whom are also returning from the previous movie. Selma Blair reprises her role as Liz Sherman, and improves upon her performance in the previous movie. Whereas she was a troubled, confused, frightened woman before, Blair's Liz is now strong-willed, confident, and assertive. Blair handles this evolution fantastically, handing in a likable performance that I found to be different yet equal to her great work on the first movie.

Doug Jones also returns to play Abe Sapien, now having been given the extra responsibility of doing his own vocal work as well. With David Hyde Pierce of Fraiser fame doing Abe's voice in the first movie, Jones was stuck in a thankless position as the physical half of the character. But now voicing the character as well, Jones is allowed to put forth a more rounded performance. He's likable in the role, making the character stand out more. And considering that Jones plays two other characters as well, so I'd say he earned his paycheck.

Supplying the movie's comic relief, Jeffrey Tambor and Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane are both quite funny. Their dry wit in their roles as the de facto straight men goes a long way, and I enjoyed their work. And since MacFarlane's role was limited to only voiceover work, as the character was physically portrayed by John Alexander and James Dodd, he wasn't really able to interact with the rest of the cast. But he still manages to contribute some funny bits.

Rounding out the cast are Anna Wilson and Luke Goss. Wilson is okay, though the role isn't what I would call demanding,. All that's really required of her is to be a doe-eyed damsel that sits in the background while the fighting happens. Del Toro could have had her be a bit more proactive, a bit more like Princess Leia, but he didn't. It's too late to change it now, but the fact that Princess Nuala is just kinda there doesn't give Wilson any real time to shine.

Goss, meanwhile, is good, but never really strikes me as being an intimidating villain. Yeah, Prince Nuada is a strong character, but ultimately, he didn't feel as threatening as he could have. Outside of kicking the crap out of Hellboy once and unleashing a monster or two, Prince Nuada is really just a big-talking megalomaniac. The only truly intimidating thing about Nuada is his fighting skills, which really begins to make you feel ambivalent towards him after a while. That's a shame too, because Goss's performance is pretty good.

It's a funny coincidence that Hellboy II was released in the same summer as Iron Man and The Dark Knight. Because if those two movies are evidence that mainstream comic book movies can be viewed as having grown up, then Hellboy II can be viewed as evidence of their artistic potential as well. Guillermo Del Toro knows exactly what he's doing, as he uses all of the tools at his disposal to craft a great movie. I'll admit that there are a few flaws, but overall, the positives far outweigh the negatives. Hellboy II: The Golden Army is an entertaining piece of fantasy escapism that I can't help but like. So on my Five-Star Sutton Scale, I'm going to give it a solid four stars and a big thumbs up. It's definitely worth a watch.

Final Rating: ****

Sin City (2005)

From Johnny Dynamite in the '50s to Ms. Tree in the '80s, hardboiled crime stories have been a part of the comic book world for quite some time. The style has even found its way into horror comics, as seen in DC's Hellblazer. However, that hardboiled noir style is most prevalent in Sin City, a series of stories created, written, and illustrated by comic book legend Frank Miller. First published by Dark Horse Comics in 1991, Sin City can be seen as a continuance of the dark, moody style that Miller used to save Daredevil from cancellation and cast Batman as a truly dark knight.

As one of the most influential writers and artists in the industry, one would figure that his work would have an effect on the cinematic adaptations of comic books. And in a way, he has. His depiction of Daredevil was carried over into that adaptation, and his influence can be seen in Tim Burton's two Batman movies. However, Miller withdrew from Hollywood, vowing to never let his own comics be adapted into a movie thanks to constant unwanted studio interference while he wrote the RoboCop sequels.

Enter Robert Rodriguez. A longtime fan of Miller's work, Rodriguez wanted to make a Sin City movie, but Miller refused to relinquish the movie rights. Rodriguez drafted Josh Hartnett and Marley Shelton to appear in a short "proof of concept" film based on the Sin City short story "The Customer Is Always Right," and Miller enjoyed it enough to allow production to get underway. With both Rodriguez and Miller as directors (along with Quentin Tarantino at the helm for one scene as a "special guest director"), the cinematic adaptation of Sin City was met with much fanfare when it hit theaters this past April. But is Sin City worth the hype, or is it just another case of a great comic getting adapted into a mediocre movie?

Our film is set in a fictional locale named Basin City, though its residents rarely refer to it by its given name, instead preferring its shortened form because it characterizes the city perfectly. Nearly everyone in power, from the politicians to the police to the city's religious hierarchy, are corrupt, and Sin City's citizens have become a jaded lot as a result. And in Sin City, hardly any crime is outrageous enough to shock or surprise anyone. As comic writer Mark Evanier once so eloquently put it, "When you live in Sin City, you can get shot fifty times, stabbed in the thorax, and have a few body parts chopped off. And then, if you're not careful, someone might try to kill you."

This wonderful little town is the setting for three interweaving episodes, each anchored around a particular male lead. The movie opens with the first half of the story titled "That Yellow Bastard," where we are introduced to John Hartigan (Bruce Willis). A detective pushing sixty and suffering from angina, Hartigan is an honest cop in a city where guys like him are few and far between. Before he settles into retirement, Hartigan wants to solve one last case and capture a serial-killing pedophile rapist named Junior Roark (Nick Stahl).

However, Hartigan's pursuit of Junior is complicated by Junior's family tree. The Roarks practically own Sin City, and his father (Powers Boothe) is a very powerful senator to boot. Junior has chosen eleven-year-old Nancy Callahan (Makenzie Vega) to be his latest victim, and despite the strength of the Roark family and the protests of his partner Bob (Michael Madsen), Hartigan has taken it upon himself to stop him before he can kill Nancy.

The next story is an adaptation of "The Hard Goodbye," in which we follow a hulking brute named Marv (Mickey Rourke). He's a wee bit lacking in the looks department, so when we first meet him, he's on Cloud Nine because a gorgeous woman named Goldie (Jaime King) has offered herself to him. They spend the night together, getting ripped to the gills and having sex. Unfortunately, Marv's happiness doesn't last too long. He and Goldie fall asleep, and Marv awakens three hours later to discover his companion dead, murdered.

It isn't very long until he hears police sirens, at which point he realizes that he's been set up, because not enough time has passed for anyone but Marv and her killer to know Goldie is dead. Marv flees, swearing revenge as a way to repay Goldie for the kindness she showed him. His search for Goldie's murderer leads him down a crooked path, passing his perpetually topless parole officer Lucille (Carla Gugino) on a collision course with Goldie's twin sister Wendy (King, in a dual role), the mute karate-trained cannibal Kevin (Elijah Wood), and a corrupt priest (Rutger Hauer) that is also part of the Roark family.

Our third tale, entitled "The Big Fat Kill," begins in the apartment of a frightened barmaid named Shellie (Brittany Murphy), where a drunken former fling is pounding at her door. Shellie is comforted by her on-again/off-again boyfriend Dwight McCarthy (Clive Owen), who tells her to let the man and his entourage in while he hides in the bathroom. She opens the door for the drunk man, Jackie Boy (Benicio Del Toro), who proceeds to smack Shellie upside the head before heading to the bathroom.

As Jackie Boy relieves himself, Dwight steps out from behind the shower curtain and puts a straight razor to his face, telling him that if he ever so much as thinks Shellie's name again, Dwight will make sure he regrets it. Jackie Boy and his crew take the hint leave, with Dwight following them to make sure they don't hurt anybody.

Dwight tails them to Old Town, Sin City's red light district. Police are only allowed in Old Town if they're off duty and looking for a good time, and the prostitutes that are in charge of the neighborhood are just as armed and dangerous as any army. While Dwight meets up with Gail (Rosario Dawson), one of Old Town's toughest residents, Jackie Boy begins accosting a young girl named Becky (Alexis Bledel). He repeatedly asks for her services and she repeatedly turns him down, telling him that she works the day shift and he should come back in the morning. Jackie Boy doesn't take no for an answer, threatening to shoot Becky if she doesn't get in his car.

And believe me, pulling a gun on a lady in Old Town just isn't kosher. Another hooker named Miho (Devon Aoki) leaps down from a rooftop above them, introducing Jackie Boy and his crew to the business ends of her swords and throwing stars. Dwight and the girls raid their pockets, and that's when Dwight makes a rather chilling discovery: a police badge in Jackie Boy's coat. He wasn't just some goon, he was a cop. Jackie Boy's death means the end of an uneasy truce between the mob, the police, and the hookers of Old Town, so Dwight agrees to dispose of the bodies before the cops discover what happened. A group of mobsters led by the one-eyed Manute (Michael Clark Duncan) has other ideas, kidnapping Gail while sending a team of Irish terrorists after Dwight.

The second half of "That Yellow Bastard" concludes the film, resuming some eight years after the events of the first half. Hartigan was framed for raping Nancy and left to rot in a jail cell for that whole time, only finding relief in the carefully disguised letters he receives from Nancy every week of his incarceration. Once the letters stop, Hartigan begins to fear for the worst, especially when a deformed man with yellow skin and disgusting body odor delivers an envelope containing a severed finger. Hartigan falsely confesses to raping Nancy so that he may be granted parole, and after a little investigative work, tracks her to a ragged saloon where the 19-year-old Nancy (Jessica Alba) is a rather popular dancer. But by the looks of it, I think Nancy went to one of those dance schools where they teach the strippers to leave their clothes on.

Regardless, Hartigan notices the yellow freak at a corner booth and realizes the finger was just a bluff so he'd lead him right to Nancy. Hartigan and Nancy hit the road, with their yellow pursuer hot on their trail. He confronts Hartigan after tracking the pair to their safe house, revealing himself to be none other than a grossly disfigured Junior Roark. He explains that his father went far outside the boundaries of conventional science to heal the injuries his son suffered during his last encounter with Hartigan, but his work resulted in some rather unsavory side effects. Junior hangs Hartigan and leaves with Nancy to finish the job he started eight years prior, but Hartigan survives and heads straight to the Roark farm to save the closest thing to a daughter he's ever had.

I have nothing bad to say about Sin City. Any complaints I have are simply minor at best. The visual effects are absolutely brilliant, and the movie looks so much like the comic, it's frightening. With the original comics as their storyboards, directors Rodriguez and Miller use a chiaroscuro style to resemble the source material, interchanging starkly contrasting lights and shadows to make it look similar to Miller's artwork, and everything about it looks outstanding.

With reenactments of frames from the comics to how the characters look and talk, everything is right out of the comics and I couldn't be happier. Even the movie's harshest critics have to agree that Sin City is one of the most faithful and literal comic book adaptations ever made. Style frequently outweighs substance in movies like Sin City, but Rodriguez and Miller give us a menagerie of heroes, villains, and antiheroes, with the stories being engaging and never growing boring.

The audience becomes immersed in the urban inequity that is Sin City, hearkening back to the old detective movies of the '40s and '50s, but with more bells and whistles. Filtered in with the black-and-white are flashes of color. We see the red of a dress or a woman's lipstick, the blonde of Goldie's hair, the blue or green of someone's eyes, the yellow of Junior's skin. And then there's blood. Buckets and buckets of blood. We see blood either as a translucent white, mustard yellow (in the case of "That Yellow Bastard"), or more frequently, its natural red. To borrow from another reviewer, one could use the old line "black and white and red all over" to describe Sin City, which I find to be a rather astute observation. One may be thrown off by all the stylized violence, but it can get so over-the-top that it actually becomes fun.

I'm also a believer in the idea that a good movie needs a good score. While the song "Cells" by British band The Servant may be most connected with Sin City thanks to its use in the movie's promotional campaign (and despite it sadly does not appearing in the movie), the movie possesses an excellent musical score composed by Rodriguez, with a little help from John Debney and Graeme Revell. The electro-infused blues score casts a brooding shadow over the film, with its use of saxophones and occasional dash of bongo drums evoking the genre's roots.

While I thought the dialogue was silly and borderline pretentious at times, it can be forgiven because it still manages to be entertaining. Besides, there are movies out there with worse dialogue, and this is a film noir anyway. A film noir without pretentious dialogue is like a Road Runner cartoon without Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff. The script, written by God knows who (no writers are credited, though one can assume that it was penned by Rodriguez and/or Miller), presents us with quite a few fun moments and memorable lines straight out of the comics. I'd buy a copy of the screenplay if it were published, but I can just buy the comics instead.

I'd also like to commend the cast for doing a brilliant job. Each of the three male leads are superb, as are their supporting cast. With a star-studded film like this, one would think it would lapse into moments like, "Look, Bruce Willis! Now here's Jessica Alba! And how about that Elijah Wood? Remember him from Lord of the Rings?" But the movie is so engrossing, it becomes not an exercise in watching actors, but in watching characters. I will say that I enjoyed everyone, some more than others, but perhaps the brightest star in the cast is Mickey Rourke as Marv. I ended up enjoying "The Hard Goodbye" the most out of all the stories, and it was mainly because of him. Marv is easily my favorite character in the whole movie, all because of Rourke's performance.

I'd also like to give a big thumbs up to Elijah Wood, who gets as far away from Frodo as he can in his portrayal of Kevin. I'll actually go out on a limb and call Kevin the coolest villain since the T-1000 in Terminator 2 and Agent Smith from the Matrix trilogy. Wood doesn't have any dialogue, but he still manages to be unbelievably creepy, even downright scary at times.

Though I do wonder, in regards to the cast... am I the only one who thought Bruce Willis looks nowhere near as old has he should have been, or that Jessica Alba didn't look anywhere near as young as she should have been? And am I the only one who wasn't completely buying Clive Owen's American accent?

This is very much a Robert Rodriguez movie, and while one could make the argument that Frank Miller's directorial credit is merely honorary, the film is so faithful to his work that it only makes sense to list him too. In fact, Rodriguez was so adamant about giving Miller credit as a director that he had to quit the Director's Guild in order to do it (since the DGA only allows bona fide teams like the Wachowskis to receive co-director credits). No matter who gets credit as director, everyone involved should be proud of themselves for creating a true work of art.

If you're the kind of person that refuses to watch a movie that's in black and white, no matter how good it may be, you're really cheating yourself out of seeing one of the best movies of 2005. Roger Ebert said in his review, "This isn't an adaptation of a comic book; it's like a comic book brought to life and pumped with steroids." And you know what? He's correct. Sin City is a triumph of imagination and filmmaking, and is worth all the praise it gets. 

Final Rating: *****

Hellboy (2004)

Feature films based on comic books are nothing new. Hollywood's been making them since Kirk Alyn played Superman in the serials in 1948 and 1950. However, all the attention went to making movies with Superman or Batman. Outside of a few notable exceptions, most comic book movies that didn't feature Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne were either poorly made or simply faded into obscurity. But after the first X-Men movie became an enormous success in 2000, movie companies started churning out comic book movies like crazy. Since the 21st-century comic movie boom began, there's been at least a dozen movies released based on comic book heroes. One of those movies, based on Mike Mignola's demonic hero that appeared in comics published by Dark Horse Comics, ended up being a hit just as big as the lead character's right hand.

Our story begins on October 9, 1944. The Nazis have began dabbling in the occult as a way to achieve victory in World War II, enlisting the help of Siberian mystic Grigori Rasputin (Karel Rodin). Gathered with a group of Nazi soldiers at a graveyard on an island off the coast of Scotland, Rasputin opens a portal that would bring the mythical Seven Gods of Chaos to Earth. But you know how these things go. Their little party gets interrupted by a band of Allied soldiers, who arrive before the Seven Gods of Chaos show up. A scuffle ensues, and the Allied soldiers manage to destroy the machine used to open the portal.

Rasputin is sucked into the portal during the fracas, but his bride Ilsa (Bridget Hodson) and undead cohort Kroenin (Ladislay Beran) escape. In the aftermath, the Allied soldiers discover something did come through the portal after all: a baby demon with bright red skin, horns, and an abnormally large right hand made of stone. Professor Trevor "Broom" Bruttenholm (Kevin Trainor), who works as paranormal advisor to President Roosevelt and the Allied troops, wins it over with a Baby Ruth candy bar, adopting the baby demon and naming it "Hellboy."

Flash forward sixty years into the future. The now 88-year-old Professor Broom (now played by John Hurt) serves as the head of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense, a hush-hush government agency formed to deal with the demons, monsters, and various hellspawn that threaten the world. They're kinda like a cross between The X Files and Men In Black. Hellboy (Ron Perlman) is now an adult, and has become something of an urban legend similar to Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster thanks to his exploits. Said exploits often puts him at odds with Broom's superior, smarmy FBI chief Tom Manning (Jeffrey Tambor), who is often stuck running PR control to dismiss the existence of the BPRD and Hellboy. Anyway, Broom recruits naïve FBI agent John Myers (Rupert Evans) right out of the academy, bringing him in as a new partner for Hellboy and the half-man/half-fish psychic Abe Sapien (the body of Doug Jones and the voice of David Hyde Pierce). Agent Myers is just introduced to Hellboy when an alarm sounds and the BPRD is called into action. Turns out that Ilsa and Kroenin, neither of whom have aged a day in six decades, have resurrected Rasputin and liberated a creature called a "Sammael" from inside an ancient statue from a museum display. Turns out that every time you kill a Sammael, two are born in its place unless you destroy the monster and its eggs at the same time. And folks, that monster lays a lot of eggs.

But luckily for them, the BPRD crew discovers they eggs are sensitive to heat and light, and they know someone who can supply them with both. Agent Myers visits former BPRD agent Liz Sherman at a local sanitarium, and convinces her to leave and rejoin the Bureau. Now you may be asking me, "Matt, why is Liz in a sanitarium?" Here's your answer: Liz is a pyrokinetic that uncontrollably bursts into flame whenever she gets excited or upset, and she had herself committed to prevent herself from hurting someone the next time she turns into Drew Barrymore from Firestarter. Liz is reluctant to return to the Bureau due to her awkward on-again/off-again romantic relationship with Hellboy, but is soon convinced and decides to rejoin the BPRD. She's welcomed back with open arms, but pisses off Hellboy (who's borderline obsessed with her) when she starts dating Agent Myers. So now we've got a love triangle betwixt Hellboy, Liz, and Agent Myers to contend with too. But there's let's not forget Rasputin, who lures the BPRD to Moscow through nefarious means, hoping to employ Hellboy's "right hand of doom" to finally unleash the Seven Gods of Chaos.

I'll admit, I wasn't too familiar with Hellboy before the movie was released. I'd barely even heard of him. So lucky me, I went in with no preconceived notions on what to expect. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe that's a bad thing. But I have to agree with Roger Ebert's review: Hellboy is one of those few movies based on a comic book that actually feels like a comic book. And unlike other movies of the sort, it seems more like an action movie with outlandish characters. The movie doesn't feel burdened by the weight of being a comic, but instead comes across as if someone made Indiana Jones 4 and replaced Harrison Ford with a demon that loves kittens, pancakes, and Baby Ruth candy bars.

Writer/director Guillermo Del Toro is no stranger to comic book movies, having directed Blade II prior to his work here. With Hellboy, he gives us is a fun, exciting adventure throughout its 122 minutes. Del Toro has gone on record for several years saying that Hellboy was a dream project for him, even turning down Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Blade: Trinity to do it. And boy, does his enthusiasm show. While I don't think his script will win any awards, Del Toro's work as director is part of what gives the movie its charm. With director of photography Guillermo Navarro, Marco Beltrami's awesome superhero score (including the brilliant use of Nick Cave's song "Red Right Hand"), and some great CGI and makeup effects, Del Toro gives us quite the entertaining spectacle. Unfortunately, the last fifteen or so minutes of the movie seemed to really lag. It's like they used up so much imagination, they didn't have enough left for the end.

Minor gripe aside, benefiting the movie more than Del Toro's direction is the casting. I'm not a reader of the comic, but I can't imagine anyone else but Ron Perlman in the role. Perlman was the perfect choice for the character, and I'm willing to bet that this is his best performance since he was on the old Beauty and the Beast TV show from the late '80s. Watch the scene where he spies on Liz and Agent Myers during a date and tell me you can't connect to that. We've probably all done something like that once, haven't we? I also loved Selma Blair as Liz, the love of Hellboy's life. She's just so sympathetic, and so heartwarming at the same time. I found her to be very much like Violet from The Incredibles, in that I just wanted to reach into the screen and give her a hug if I knew she wouldn't set me on fire.

Rupert Evans, John Hurt, and Jeffrey Tambor were all fun to watch as well, and Doug Jones and the uncredited David Hyde Pierce teamed up to do a fine job as Abe the merman. What I didn't like, however, were the villains. With the exception of Ladislay Boran's awesome portrayal of Kroenin, the villains were just so bland. They want to destroy the world, big whoop. If they destroy the world, doesn't that mean they die too? Or would it be like that one Duck Dodgers cartoon where they're left hanging from what's left of the planet?

All in all, lovable characters, boatloads of action, impressive special effects, and a sweet love story make Hellboy well worth the watch. The plot may be as anorexic as an Olsen twin, the villains may suck, and the ending may be a tad underwhelming, but there's enough here to justify giving Hellboy a rating of three and a half stars and one big Red Right Hand of Doom up.

Final Rating: ***½