The FCC had strict regulations governing television's commercial content prior to the '80s. But when said regulations were eliminated, it not only saw the rise of the infomercial, but toy companies started cranking out a ton of cartoons made to advertise their products. These animated toy commercials started trickling onto TV sets in 1983, but really hit full force when those regulations were eliminated the following year. It got so out of control that even cartoons that weren't based on toys had toy lines that were almost more popular than the shows.
Some of these toy-inspired cartoons actually had a tremendous impact on pop culture, though. One of the more famous ones has to be G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, based on the Hasbro toys of the same name. The "G.I. Joe" brand has been around since 1964, initially a series of 12-inch soldier dolls that gave rise to the term "action figure." But the 12-inch figures have long been overshadowed by the "Real American Hero" line, Hasbro's 1982 relaunch of G.I. Joe that shrank them down to 3¾-inch figures as a means of rivaling the Star Wars toys.
The relaunch was immediately followed by a long-running comic book published by Marvel, and eventually made the transition into animation with two five-part miniseries that aired in 1983 and 1984. The cartoon was picked up as a series in 1985, running for 95 episodes. It was a smashing success, and elements of it continue to be part of the pop culture lexicon.
The show proved to be successful enough that it was spun off into a movie, the third animated Hasbro property to be produced by Sunbow Productions and Toei Animation during the mid-'80s. But after the box office failures of the My Little Pony and Transformers movies in 1986, G.I. Joe: The Movie was delayed a year and released direct to video and edited to air as episodes of the show. And really, if it weren't for the popularity of the show and the toys, I don't know if it would have been released at all.
As the movie begins, the terrorist organization known as Cobra is in a state of disarray. Cobra Commander (Chris Latta) and Serpentor (Dick Gautier) are at one another's throats, each blaming the other for Cobra's continued failures. Their argument is put on hold, however, when a mysterious woman breaks into their headquarters. She reveals herself as Pythona (Jennifer Darling), an emissary for a secret civilization known as Cobra-La. At her urging, Serpentor leads a charge to steal G.I. Joe's latest weapon, an energy device known as the Broadcast Energy Transmitter.
Serpentor leads a team of Cobra troops into the Himalayas, where G.I. Joe is testing the device. The Joes prove victorious and capture Serpentor in the process, while Cobra Commando and the remaining Cobra troops flee to a hidden valley where they arrive in Cobra-La, which they find to be populated by snake-like mutants that have existed since before the Ice Age. Cobra-La's ruler, the maniacal Golobulus (Burgess Meredith), has Cobra Commander imprisoned and sets into motion a plan to acquire the Broadcast Energy Transmitter and conquer the world. G.I. Joe catches wind of this, and with the help of a new crop of rookie Joes and a special squad led by Sgt. Slaughter (Bob Remus, the pro wrestler known as "Sgt. Slaughter"), they set out to prevent Golobulus's plan from coming to fruition.
I have to admit that G.I. Joe is one of the few cartoon/toy line packages I actually wasn't into during the '80s. I had a couple of the action figures and thought the cartoon had a cool theme song, but outside of that, G.I. Joe wasn't my scene. The first time I'd actually seen this movie was today. I wish I'd seen it earlier, though, because G.I. Joe: The Movie is a hell of a lot of fun.
Part of that is due to how good the animation is. The movie was animated by Toei Animation, who also handled the animated Transformers movie. I legitimately didn't like the animation in the Transformers movie, but G.I. Joe saw a big step up in quality. I honestly thought that their animation here was fantastic. It's really well done, really gorgeous stuff. It sucked me in and made every frame worth seeing. The first three minutes alone — an outrageous action sequence set to a remix of the show's theme song — is one of the most awesome things I've ever seen. It made me feel like I was six years old again, sitting in front of my TV on a Saturday morning watching cartoon battles between good and evil. It's an awesome moment, and the movie never goes downhill from there.
The script, meanwhile, is only okay. Credited to Ron Friedman, the script is light on story and substantial character development. All it does is give us setups for action sequences and brief character conflict to push forward what little plot there is. The whole thing is inconsequential, and as fun as the movie is, that's no big deal. I'm totally okay with the script being so light.
There are a few things about the script I wanted to talk about, though. One is a scene near the beginning where practically every member of Cobra pretty much calls out Cobra Commander for being an ineffectual ninny, a scene that I thought was great. Cobra Commander really was a useless leader, to the point that "Cobra, retreat!" was practically his catchphrase. Nearly every villain from '80s cartoons was like that, so it was fun to see one get told about it.
I also have to point out my dislike of the new Joe recruits. Yeah, they were probably included to sell more toys, like how the animated transformers movie introduced a ton of new characters for the next phase of Hasbro's toy line. But G.I. Joe: The Movie doesn't try cramming a ton of them down your throat. The only problem is that only one of them really has anything to do, and they're all a bunch of turds. And that one guy who speaks in nothing but sports metaphors is one of the lamest, most annoying characters I've ever seen in any movie whether it's live action or animated. It made me happy to find out that it was nearly twenty-five years until he ever appeared in any other G.I. Joe property.
And every other review I've read of G.I. Joe: The Movie mentions this, so I might as well do it too. The movie was actually going to feature the character Duke getting killed by Serpentor. But the choice was made to cancel that after Optimus Prime's death was met with tremendous backlash. And apparently the only way they could change it is by throwing in a few lines recorded in post-production about how he'd fallen into a coma and eventually pulled through. If they were actually going to leave the scene in and have it be his last appearance in the movie, why not just let him die?
And last but not least is the voice acting, which I thought was wonderful. I liked everyone who lent their voices to the movie, but I'm only going to point out the highlights. Burgess Meredith makes Golobulus a great villain, giving him a threatening sound despite the character looking kinda goofy. I also thought Don Johnson and Bob "Sgt. Slaughter" Remus made fine contributions, despite Johnson's character being written as a total douchebag and Remus having little to do.
Of the cast members who reprise their roles from the televised cartoon, Chris Latta and Michael Bell are really fun as Cobra Commander and Duke. Latta gives Cobra Commander the same voice he gave Starscream on the Transformers cartoon, a voice that I thought was silly yet oddly entertaining. And Bell provides Duke with an authoritative voice that you'd expect from a proud soldier like Duke. Hearing him boldly proclaim "Yo Joe!" at the top of his lungs is enough to make even someone who isn't regularly a G.I. Joe fan like myself excited.
But to sum up this whole review, I liked G.I. Joe: The Movie more than I expected to when I went in. It makes me wish I'd been into G.I. Joe when I was little, because I'd have loved it back then. Maybe when I can go back and fix that after they invent time travel. Until then, all I can do is wish I'd jumped onboard sooner. G.I. Joe: The Movie is 93 minutes of pure awesome entertainment. Yo Joe!
Final Rating: ***½
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