I can't say that I expected Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl to be the runaway success that it was. It was a movie based on a ride at Disneyland, for crying out loud. But the box office success, critical acclaim, and Oscar nominations proved that I really don't know anything about movies. And the fact that its back-to-back sequels — Dead Man's Chest and At World's End — grossed a combined two billion dollars worldwide further hammered that point home.
And though the franchise's story seemingly ended with At World's End, you just can't argue with buckets of cash. So Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer teamed up one more time to make the fourth entry in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Taking its title and the basic plot outline of Tim Powers's 1987 fantasy novel On Stranger Tides, this fourth movie is a real disappointment. It's quite simply nowhere near as good as it could have been.
As the movie begins, Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) has arrived in England after hearing that someone claiming to be him is assembling a crew to search for the Fountain of Youth. He's arrested after breaking his former first mate Joshamee Gibbs (Kevin McNally) out of jail and is and brought before King George II (Richard Griffiths). The king has also heard that someone named Jack Sparrow is hunting for the Fountain, and wishes to recruit him to find and claim it before the Spanish can.
But Jack's not exactly happy to discover that he won't be leading the expedition to find the Fountain. Instead, King George has chosen Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), now a one-legged privateer for the British Navy, for the job. Jack makes a daring escape and starts searching for the person claiming to be him.
It turns out that the impostor is Angelica (Penélope Cruz), Jack's former lover and daughter of the infamous pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane). Still upset over their rather acrimonious breakup, Angelica has Jack kidnapped and thrown onto her father's ship. It turns out Blackbeard himself is searching for the Fountain of Youth as well, fearing a story that that he will have a fatal encounter with a pirate with one leg. The hunt for the Fountain will take Blackbeard's crew, Barbossa's crew, and the Spaniards through dangerous jungles, sunken ships, and teams of man-eating mermaids.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is one of those sequels where it's obvious that the only reason it was made is because somebody wanted to make a quick buck. The plot is all over the place, yet is constructed in such a way that it doesn't necessitate a 137-minute movie. Most of the actors don't seem like they're really trying either, and the whole thing gives off the feeling that they were just going through the motions. It's a watchable movie, but it's a disappointing one too.
Gore Verbinski isn't around to direct the movie as he did the first three, being replaced by Chicago director Rob Marshall. Marshall's direction seems indicative of the entire movie itself: it feels like it's just going through the motions. He's just going from Point A to Point B without injecting any of the adventure or the whimsy the other Pirates movies had. You get the feeling that Marshall came into the production viewing himself as having been hired to a job with as little effort as possible. Only once — the scene where Blackbeard's crew is attacked by the commandos — does Marshall come close to replicating the fantasy world that Verbinski crafted. All he manages to do is build a feeling of disinterest in the viewer.
But he isn't helped by the script, written by series veterans Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott. You'd think that after writing the first three movies, they'd have gotten the hang of things. But oddly enough, the script for On Stranger Tides is seriously lacking compared to the others. There are so many plot holes and unimportant characters that it becomes frustrating. Why include the "Spaniards go after the Fountain" subplot if they're only going to be in three scenes and have no bearing on the movie at all? Why didn't they explain why Angelica was impersonating Jack? Why did that useless romantic subplot between the mermaid and the missionary have to eat up so much screen time?
And honestly, there's not much happening in this movie. The first three were packed with intrigue, action, characters constantly shifting their allegiances. On Stranger Tides does have some action, but outside of that, the movie's actually kinda plodding. I hate to see it, but it actually borders on boring. I didn't think too highly of At World's End, but at least things actually happened in it. But not in On Stranger Tides! If Rossio and Elliott couldn't be bothered to try, why should I be bothered to care?
Even the cast is disappointing, which is a damn shame. Ian McShane tries his hardest in the role of the villainous Blackbeard, but the character is written so poorly that McShane's performance suffers because of it. Try as he may, he sadly cannot top Bill Nighy's Davy Jones. I also wasn't that impressed by Penélope Cruz. She and Johnny Depp have a fine chemistry together, but beyond that, she plain and simply didn't do anything for me here. And for saying's sake, I suspect that the only reason she was cast in the movie at all is because they couldn't get Keira Knightley to come back.
I will say, though, I did like some of the cast. Kevin McNally is likable as Captain Jack's first mate Joshamee Gibbs (getting a meatier role than he had in the first three), and I absolutely loved Geoffrey Rush. Rush doesn't play Barbossa as hammy and over-the-top as he had previously, but he is still a tremendous amount of fun to watch. And Johnny Depp puts forth another fantastic performance as Captain Jack Sparrow, but he seems like he's on autopilot for significant portions of the movie. It says a lot about Depp's ability when he can half-ass it and still be great.
And I would be remiss if I didn't mention the movie's disappointing 3D effects. There is absolutely no reason for this movie to be in 3D, especially since it's never put to good use. Nothing pops, and the moments where things are pointed at the camera aren't very impressive. It's like the whole 3D thing was forced upon the movie to squeeze a few more bucks out of each ticket sale. You could probably see it in 2D and not feel like you're missing anything. So if you haven't seen it yet, don't feel pressured to see it in 3D.
I'm still convinced that On Stranger Tides was made for the sole reason of making Disney a bunch of money. But they got so busy backing the truck up to the bank that they forgot to make a good movie. I certainly wasn't expecting the movie to top or even equal The Curse of the Black Pearl, but I was expecting more out of it than this. It has its moments, but I can't give On Stranger Tides anything more than two and a half stars. You just know that they'll end up making a fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie, so here's hoping that they've learned their lesson.
Final Rating: **½
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